Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Scummy Robots





R2D2 (Sorry C3P0)
2 (11%)
Caprica-6
4 (22%)
K-9
1 (5%)
KITT
2 (11%)
Bender
6 (33%)
Marvin
3 (16%)
Roomba
2 (11%)
GLaDOS
2 (11%)
HAL 9000
7 (38%)
Any kind, as long as it fetches beer
4 (22%)

Votes so far: 18


Maybe not surprisingly we like our robots scummy. In particular, we like it when they try and kill us. HAL 9000 was our top vote getter, but Caprica-6 and GLaDOS will also gladly kill/dismember us. Apparently the only thing better then a homicidal robot is one that is also losing his mind. Caprica-6 was only a little behind, so for the rest of scum, if a robot is going to try and kill you it should at least be good looking1. Fair enough.


Bender comes in second though, and for this I am a little ashamed of my scummy compatriots. I mean, come on! It is a robot that consumes alcohol! If this guy isn't born scum I don't know who is. Even more disturbing is how few votes the robot who BRINGS you alcohol got. I thought that was a sure thing2 knowing how lazy you scum are AND that I let you vote for more then one. Three people prefer their robots to try and kill themselves, H2G2 style. If you didn't vote for Marvin, you must not have read Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy. I wouldn't admit to that though, as it is a cause of great shame.

One thing is abundantly clear though -- we don't like our robots helpful. Sorry R2D2, K-9, Kitt and Roomba... you just aren't scummy enough for this lot. With a total of only 7 votes, more people would rather be killed by HAL then the lot of you together.



1 Sorry HAL, that monotone red light just isn't sexy any more.
2 I ordered two last week so I could have one coming while the other was going.

3 comments:

  1. Oh, well done, sir! Well done. :)

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  2. How in the hell can HAL have won the robot vote…. His name is an IBM rip-off and he is not even a proper robot to begin with!!! Bender all the way baby!!!

    Very nice interpretation of the results Tofurkey. Seems you have missed your calling ;-)

    I’m very curious though what song you had in mind when you put “satan baby” as an option… oh wait.. probably something like santa baby… As you noticed, I’m not much of an Xmas song expert.

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  3. Daisy daisy, give me your answer do! Hats off to HAL. He may kill you to get the job done, but he'll never raise his voice.

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