Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The National

My one reader might have noticed I have a thing for British bands. Call me old-fashioned, but I like the Beatles better than the Rolling Stones. Unfortunately for me, one of the best bands of all times originates from the States and is called The National. Hailing from Ohio, the 5 members of the band are currently recording in Brooklyn, New York. I don't know what to say about this band besides the fact it's absolutely brilliant. They have a certain British working-class sound but without the depressing Oasis lyrics. There's a certain hopefulness in them.

The first song I heard of The National was Mistaken for Strangers on the now-defunct radio station KinK FM. I will share it with you, my reader, for your listening pleasure.



The baritone voice of Matt Berninger makes for a nice change in a world of crappy vocalists these days, and the music is just, well, spot on.

A nice, easy song of theirs is Slow Show. It's live as far as I can tell.



From their 2010 album High Violet comes this jewel called Anyone's Ghost:



The last song I'd like to share with you is Cherry Tree off of the album with the same name. Not the loudest or hardest of songs. But it's not that kind of band.



Next week I promise I will do something more guitary. After all, music has so many fun aspects and there's so /much/ music to cover!

Cheers
Nargoth

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Soundcheck!


Oh, my God! Is it? Is it Tuesday?

You run to the computer, click on the Scumbase tab that is always open on your browser (right?!?) or click on the link in your favorites (at the very least) and come face to face with, zomgz!!1!, the most bestest of the awesomest column in za world, Soundcheck! (I like plugging that in, noticed yet?)

This week, we have a special guest with us. He comes from the far-away land of the Gobbos. He has a way to make some sense when speaking with what we think is half a tongue, and writes with probably only two fingers, one on each hand. He takes mud baths (little creepy crawlers included) and avoid the rain in fear of getting too clean and lose all his credibility. That's right friends, you guessed it, Alyxyn is under the spotlight this week!

Quite a little while ago, two goblins were "performing" to have a baby. Goblins from Gobboland have this way of... well, I won't go into details, but music is usually a good idea, not for the two occupied goblins but for the others walking around and accidentally hearing the thing. Putting the volume to the max, this is what played :




Subconsciously, the two love birds wanted to name the baby Sloopy, but opted for Alyxyn. These days, considering what he does in the bilge, I wonder if Sloopy wouldn't have been appropriate. Well, as they say, the job is hard Alyx, but hang it there. Seeing the video, Alyx isn't the only thing "hanging", if you know what I mean (those crazy 60's), but at least I like how they saw the Baby Love video and decided that instead of paying 30 crappy dancers, they'd pay a single good one with LOOOOTTTSSS of place for her to semi-dance.

Anyway, goblins age really fast. They usually turn 14 when we turn about 6. Then it slows down around 60 and they stay hanging between 80 and 90 for over 30 years, to make sure they are as ugly as possible for as long as possible. Their anatomy, nothing we can do about it. But yea, suddenly, Alyxyn was 14 and a very influencial goblin, listening to :


Well, the #1 song was the live show in Glasgow, in '79. That means I don't have a video to flame, and, well... it's a pretty decent song too so DAMN YOU Alyxyn, and hat's off on your luck. But what he doesn't tell us is that he still can't sleep at night without his own Robo and delicate tuning (listen to the very end).

Then, our little friend turned 21 and could go out in bars and drink his goblin butt off. So he took the opportunity to go to Europe. He went into a hot bar and that's where time stopped and he was all alone with a beauty shining on the dancefloor. Then, the song that will mark his first legal use of liquid courage was live, the girl looking sensually in his direction and seeming to move for him :


He was soon ready to make his move, when he realized the hot girl wasn't looking at him, but at the guy behind him. That guy went over and sweeped the girl away. Alyx will later know that that was Ciciz and Nargoth. And now you know why he can't take his eyes off of Ciciz. Oh and that song's video is also why his choice of colors are always so wrong... and why he dances in clothes shops when he tries the unmatching stuff on. Like ghost shoes... (3:45)

Well, my little gobbo friend, you have a somewhat decent playlist. Nothing major, but nothing toooo lame either. Hehe.

Next week, we'll be delving into the life of one of our top players, r34lg33k!
To all of you wondering what's going on in his little dragonfly-filled head, stay tuned next week as we might make some sense out of it.

Cheers!

(P.S. That last song, I Wanna Dance With Somebody, has been #1 a while here in Quebec recently once the song was remade, revamped and made bilingual. Not sure about it's popularity in other parts of Canada, but here you are, if you want to listen to the new Quebec version :)

traditional gnomish poetry tuesday


Gnome warriors swing axe and sword and have lot of guts.
Our mages use their brains, not brawn, to kick so many butts.
The gnomish scouts fire arrows true,
but above all this, I must warn you,
every gnome just really wants to punch you in the nuts.

- sbbenchs, the "below the belt" bard

Monday, November 28, 2011

Week ending Nov 27, 2011



Ghettoforce comes into the main area of the hall dragging a section of what looks to be the Sunday paper's cartoon section and muttering about 'damnedable cursed mangy vomit colored plague.'  Tacking the paper up on the wall of the hall, he turns away disgustedly to return to his thoroughly ducttape wrapped throne to take a seat, slumping hard as if to recover from an exhausting task.

Gathering closely to see what has occurred to Ghettoforce, you notice that the paper is covered in the usually expected scrawling handwriting.  This week, however, it looks like the ink of choice may have been.. some brown gravy interspersed with a deep reddish jelly that has been let sit on the paper long enough to last.  It is obvious that no quill was used for the writing and you suspect, knowing the Green Menace's preferences, he likely scribbled using a thigh bone.. but the question at hand would be 'of what species?'  That question only lingers for a moment on your mind however, as you eagerly begin to work to decipher the news of the week.

In gelatinous scrawls you make out the following:

"Dis week was mauled bah dat human holidah in da YouKnighted States called Thankyougiving.  Wahl ah personallah don't unnerstand it verrah well, how kin a gobbo turn awah frum a celebrashun of grand consumption lahk dat?  Gobbo legends abound about tribes in da Great Gobi Forest dat usedta mimic dere minor fez-ivals.  Fer sum risson dere partyin stopped a few years ago tho much to da remorse o da Gobbo Nation.

"Da rankins uf da guilds iz a close contest at dis point.  We quicklah rose back tah da top lahk da creamy scums we be, howevah, "da pot dun be churnin" as mah mamma wud say before whoppin da ork on da head tah git him back in da pot.  So keeps yer click-in up un pay 'tention dat we keep da feast in da fryin pan, not in da fahr.  Az ah writes diz, we'z numbah 2.. which kin be a bit smellah.  We may be scum but we'z all knows we kin rahz tah da top lahk a good floater.  T Day fez-tival apparentlah kept manah guildees frum defendin ahr hall un frum ahr attacks. Wit da fez-ival ovah un da food comas waning, lez 'git r done' un End dem.

"In uthah news, da guild grew a total of 72 lebels dis week.  Average level is 225, aaaaaaaalmost 226. average gain of 1.44 levels.  CrusaderBin spent a lot of time on the road, hitting it for four lebels. Following in his footsteps, but not eating his dust, were Rido, Ciciz and her Royal Zness all at three lebels.  Completely lost in the wilderness were FlyingJoe, jmardo, masterdodo, Scrubby and gloryinchaos (who apparently was lost in the arena beating on a certain little green menace).  Happily, search parties were successful to return all of the wayward into Duncan's 'tender mercies'.

"In da arena, da top ranks be hotlah contested between da Endless bigwigs un ahr own devoted battlers.  Looking at the rankings un den looking agin will frequentlah show changes which is great tah see.  Get out un cheer fer ahr own pipples dat ahr kickin Ends und takin names!  In da ranks uf da rest ah us, Gruel managed to beat'r way up 55 ranks un Duncan managed tah drug his opponents successfully enuf ta gain 50 ranks, howevah, ah think the winner goez tah Zboss who managed to improve her ranking by 30 ranks to 53!  Getting that many ranks when that high up is sointinlah a testahmint tah wah she'z oneah da bosses.  Heck she passed bah GBrain as if he was standing still.. un he had managed 3 ranks to 56, un he'z 13 lebels bigger dan her.  She'z a wearing Endkickin boots ahlraht.

"Magnumpower un Ozwalt un Zimmi haf been workin dere stampbooks dis week.  Mags got almost 6 percent of his book in whahl Ozwalt turned in almost 2 percent.  Zboss did over 1 percent uf hers az whahl.

"Un now.. ah gots tah git back tah mah uthah werk, helpin da ignant lern wots dey needs."






Sunday, November 27, 2011


Hey all !! Kami here, for this week's.... humm.. last week's.... humm... this random World Class Scum entry! As you all probably guessed, I do have a few bottles of wine in my bloodstream, but I am doing fine, and can still write proper English, so I'm golden.

Let's get down to business.

This we..... time, on World Class Scum, we will be talking about Internet and cellphones, for which you are totally being *beep* in the *beep*. Let's be serious, what kind of service is Canada getting? Crap, coated with *beep*....

So how about I show you what it's like to have decent service.

Let me start this conversation (me writing and you reading in awe is my definition of conversation) by telling you that my roommate just informed me that she would be changing the optic fibre Internet connection we had, because it wasn't fast enough. Optic fibre, wasn't fast enough... Seriously ?

Guys, I kid you not. I come from a big-ass country. Canada is the 2nd biggest country in the world, after Russia. We got space, and nobody to fill that space with. Our antennas are not being put to their full potential, because we have all those idiotic companies fighting against each other to get the most money. So for lame places like Kenora, Ontario, with less than 15,000 people, the price of having 4 antennas (4+ different companies) providing waves for the few people actually holding a cellphone there, is ridiculous.

How ridiculous, let me demonstrate:


Yea, I took USA-based data, but that's because most of us are from USA and it still makes my point very clear.


So yea, all of you, you're getting it in the *beep*.

The first time I called to get an Internet connection once I lived in Japan, and once I found a decent-enough company to have an English-speaking person there, one of my first questions was : "What's your montly cap?". They said "The what?", so I replied "The montly limit of download and upload you can do a month. How many gigabytes can I download/upload monthly?". They said : "Well any amount you want... I don't get it...."

They didn't understand the principle of charging a fix amount for a fix download/upload limit. Like, who the hell would think about charging for downloads/uploads? Who would be evil and greedy enough to do that?

CANADA!!!!

Who would think of charging $39,99 for the same cellphone services that I get in Japan for $7,95? (I'm not even joking here... it's despicable!)

CANADA!!!

And now, they are thinking about putting meters on our Internet consumption. Die in hell, I say! Almost all other countries are limitless, and you want a freaking meter on Internet? Like... seriously?

I'll be back home in Japan hopefully soon, but I know that Internet and cellphone-wise, being "home" will never have been so pleasant! Canada, SHAME ON YOU!!
All of you other countries out there, well, you can't be worse than Canada right now (evil since 2009, compared to 2007 numbers), so GO YOU!
All of you pissed off at their ISP or cellphone company, you know where to go...

LONG LIVE WINE !!
AND MY RANDOMNESS !!

Please, leave comments on how bad and lame this was. Might convince me of never drinking again! (Wouldn't count on it though)

CHEERS ! (litterally)


I ran across a voter's list of favorite webcomics and this following one was waaaaay up there.  I'm totally digging the style of artistry, and so far the story seems pretty good.  I'm only as far as Chapter Two, so I can't really do justice to summing it up, but in a very tiny nutshell it's about Alexander Carter who travels to Dreamland each night in his sleep. 

With a back catalog of nearly 1400 pages, this one should keep you busy for a bit!  Published Monday through Friday.   Oh, and completely safe for you to read with the kids or for them to read without you hangin' over their shoulder.

Let me know what you think.  Click on the title below ... or use the handy link in the Webcomics section below.





Saturday, November 26, 2011

Chef's fast post & Equation!

HOWDY TROOPS!

Here we go Ladies & Germs...

+
+
+
+

+

+
+
=


CYAS NEXT WEEK!

Friday, November 25, 2011


I'm not sure if Revliss is back from Vegas, but there is evidence that she's been seen.  To wit ...

Bloodshadow

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Birthday Bashes & more

Happy Tofurkey Day!

Birthday Bashes

Busy week this week lost of 25's to celebrate we usually start with the highest but this week we will start with the most Important ME Bloodshadow, Bloodshadow, Bloodshadow. It cost me 6 shrooms to join the club this week but I couldn't let my kid beat me. (he did by a few days but who is counting) He is a handsome Human like his master and he wears only the coolest gear. He is always willing to help or stab whatever the cause just ask furkey muhahaha.

Now to the big bashes Woopydoo hits 275. He is an amazing demon mage who can pull a rabbit out of his hat not only with nothing up his sleeves but with both eyes poked out. That's right not only is he top 30 in HOF but he is a member of the Blind demon club (FlyingJoe is recruiting dagger in hand)

Alyxyn hits the big 250. He is a strange looking goblin with some obvious head trauma. However, don't stare to much he is quite handy with that crossbow and has an itchy finger, if you know what I mean. (Gboss said that had nothing to do with the crossbow, but I screamed TMI)

This week was turn 200 week with a bunch of scum stepping up to the big 2-0-0. Mhorg, Koshka, Rido Fatesmiter, and ME join 4 more who have done it in the last 2 weeks to make it over the big 2. Mhorg is a strange looking elf mage with some really big teeth. His color coordination is way off and he likes to wear bones as accessories. Let him feel the love with a knife in his cloth back. Koshka is a pretty female elf played by my ugly male son (he has issues obviously). Be careful when backstabbing - she evades way too much for my liking. Rido Fatesmiter is a proper looking dwarf warrior with armor and a hook. I like to take him with me while questing, as you never know when you will need to use his epic TP.  Maybe if Alyxyn had taken him with him, his finger wouldn't itch. TMI!

95% Club 
Stays the same this week still sitting at just under 50% of the scum

Deep 6ers 
Stays the same as well. They all moved a little but it looks like this part of the column will stay unchanged for a while. Some people like the bilge-water.

ScumFlash: Happy Thanksgiving

Seeing this is a North American Server, most of the scum will be celebrating Thanksgiving today. So I hope you'll all enjoy yourself and wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. And if you have trouble coming up with things to be thankful for, remember you are Scum and member of the Severed Tongue so be thankful for that! Ofcourse this wish also goes out to our current arch enemies, the Endless and Disciples of Beer and to all our other friends in this game. You know who you are and there are just too many of you to name each and every one of you. (on the verge of leaving for the weekend myself or I would give it a try ;-).

Battles and Dungeons
This week wasn't our best show of power. We lost a couple of times from the Endless and we didn't manage to beat the dungeon. Some of those loses were unnecessary and could have been avoided with a perfect check in. Yes Scum, checking in IS a vital part of winning in this game. We currently have some lowlifes that are slacking and we'll start doing something about it after the weekend. For now, go out and have fun. But don't forget to come back home afterwards!

Babysitting
Remember, if you are going away to family, friends, or whatever and you are unable to play for a day or more, let Tofurkey know. At least we will know where you are at, and he can set you up for a babysitter for the time being. Or cut the middle man completely this time only and contact Zimmi who offered to hold a Thanksgiving party on Shakes & Fidget for all of you that are unable to be here yourself. (sorry this offer is not for arch enemies, but for Scum only).

The Weakest Link
Oh, while you are here, vote on our latest poll. You have the power to get rid of the weakest link on this blog (well not really, but it is fun to have the feeling you have the power, right?).

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Elbow

Not to scare my one reader away, I have decided against another round of Dutch music and will go for something else: Elbow.

Now I must admit I had never heard of this band until I heard the song Grounds for Divorce on KinK FM. I will start off with this clip, although this song is actually not really in the same style as the rest of the album.

Grounds for Divorce


I got the album and it's really one of the best albums that has come out in that year (2008). The band itself hails from England and formed in 1990. Together they have made 5 albums but the last one wasn't up to par with the 4th one, The Seldom Seen Kid.

I will now present you with one of their finest songs. You can take your ladyfriend out to dinner on this song.

Mirrorball


And since I can't stop the sappiness, here is their best-known track.

One Day Like This


And because I can, here is my all-time favourite of them.

An Audience With The Pope


That's it for this week! Hope you all enjoyed it some. Join me next time, because I have still a lot of music left.

Cheers
Nargoth

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Soundcheck !


Heya heya heya!! Kami here for another exciting Soundcheck, the cream of the cream on this Scumbase! You've been shocked, you've been surprised, but above all else, you've been disappointed and that's a sign I'm doing a good job!

I would like to slip in a little apology for I completely forgot about World Class Scum this week... That's two weeks in a row if I'm not mistaken, so I'm currently training my butt for the incoming Ghetto-Kick. But this is no place to talk about other columns! Let's introduce this week's contestant:

*drum roll*
He's smaller than most, still stronger than me. He's always last on alphabetically ordered name lists, but that doesn't stop him. He's quiet most of the time in guild chat, but he's checked-in when it counts! (Ain't I awesome? Plugging a check-in message in here and even writing a parenthesis that points it out! Subtle!)

Give a good round of applause for Ziglabeu!

His story begins a little while ago, not that long ago actually. Well, longer than me, but let's not rub his face in it, shall we? In a certain place, on a certain day, two adorable people are in love and about to get it on, baby! His soon-to-be father opened the radio on what would be, forever, Ziggy's main personality:


That's right people, he's a love machine. Love is pouring out of his pores, rainbows are shooting out of his eyes, birds are following him on the street and he speaks with the same voice as the singer on the left. Hellah Sexah, Babah!

Zig grew taller in his teenage years, with all the acne, the new smells, hair and awkward conversions with the parents that his age brought upon him. It isn't easy to be a love machine. But it turns out you attract a bunch of people, and that's how Ziglabeu met a friend of us from Zenith. That friend actually made Zig a nice little lullaby, probably a result of love overflowing out of our love machine. Here's what came out of it:



Who knew StevieeeeeB had the guts to produce something like that? Not only are we learning so much about our.. um... very manly Ziglabeu, we also get to know who's fault it is! Aren't we glad we have this column!

All that being said, the real deal is always the Booze Song. The #1 hit on the radio on your way to the bar, the convenience store, the liquor store, the grocery store, the supermarket or straight to the brewery. This is the song he first got drunk on (at least legally):



Nothing else to be expected from our Love Machine. He probably has a heart the size of the moon. Zig might be afraid of electric guitars and is allergic to fast tempos. And what's his real relationship with StevieeeeeB, we will never know, but it looks sweet. Lucky him!

Well, that's all for this week, folks. I hope you enjoyed, and I hope, as much as you do, that we'll get some bigger hits next time! Or at least something that normal people can dance on...

Stay tuned, as next week, we'll be poking around our favorite gobbo-speaking Alyxyn! Not to be missed for anything in the world!

Cheers


I took my lady out to the black forest
in beauty (and curves), she isn't the poorest.
She showed me her flower,
then charged by the hour
I'm thinking she's not really a florist!

- sbbenchs, the "holy shite is it tuesday already?!?!" poet

Monday, November 21, 2011


Shifting back the hatch below decks, Alyxyn's small frame emerges still dripping from the bilge. Quickly he dives behind the bar to towel off and dress in his usual garb. Throwing the bar towel back into the stacks for Duncan, Alyxyn climbs up onto the bar using hand over hand up one of the drains. Finally stumbling onto the scratched up polished wood, Alyxyn gathers himself up to his entire two foot height before slamming a fez of water down onto a small table he has hidden there. It takes a couple poundings before he can get the barscum quiet enough for his squeakiness to be heard, during which he has to pull out a replacement fez, his original having now been flattened.

Coughing loudly, he horks out a bunch of dried grass and bilge remains before speaking up clearly.

"Attention one and all, todah's bulletin iz one ahma jezt gunna bellow sinz summuhn dun made off wit mah papahs. Ya know whoz ya ahr un ya be sad little scum fer makin off wit a little gobbos hard won shtuff.

Ignoring the mass of screams of "it weren't me ya little gob!" and "ah shut da heck up" and "git back in yer hole dang yer hide", Alyxyn continues.

"Now.. ah wanna say dat's itz nahc tah be back. Lazt week was a bit of a vacashu in visitin mah old Pwnie buds but its allays best tah come home again. Wahl me un de uthah Scum were imitatin equines un avoiding getting bbq-d, we dun kicked a lot of dungeons but it brought home tah me sum of the joys of being scum. It seemed dat de onlah pipple dat wud talk .. were Scum. Scum were very good at checking in fer da dunjons un for defense 'ginst da maraudin other guilds. It showed just how important it be tah .. be friendlah un talkitive un join in. Scum is numbah one in dat!

Alyxyn dodges to the side to avoid several dirty steins heaved at his little noggin and waits for the uproar to die before continuing.

"Wahl we all wuz gone, we rathah 'spected dat we'd loze da top rankin, speshully looking at da sheer powah uf doze dat vacashuned. As we dun already seen, jezt a few dayz back un a few battles unner ahr belts un we'z alreadah second again." With each successive word, he pumps his fez into the air to punctuate his words. "Keep it up! Pour it on! Sign on! Click in!"

Drinking deeply of the water in his fez, he lets his words echo around the now quiet guild hall before speaking again.

"Yup. Click in continues to be important .. and somewhat lackin. Iz thar rillah a risson to be logged in.. un NOT click in? If so, ah'd lahk tah know it. Course ah thinks dat GBrain wud lahk ta hear it too. Iffen ya izn't on, den don't be logged on. Den othahs keepin an eye on things know dat ya aint on und kin compensate fer yer missing... hopefully."

"All dat sed, letz me leaf da editorial page un git tah all da news dats fit fer me tah bellow atcha"

"Diz week haz been kinda slow in da practicin area. It seems wahl pipples were away riding Lil Pwnies, only 68 lebels were gained by da guildies ovah all. There were a few driven pipples, lahk da little Green Menace raised five lebels. Both WordPlay n Mhorg ahr raht up dere wit 4 apiece demselves. Howevah ovah all, da 'tenshun tah lebellin seems ta be dwindlin un hafn't seen it dis bad since da weekah Oct 15 with 56 lebels. Ah knows it haddah be rathah disquietin no bein in da presence o efferone's faborite lime green loquaciousness, but dis is .. sad. *sniffs and wipes a tiny tear from his eye*

"The announcers fer da arena continue tah be hectic fer da top twennie slots but we gots lotsa Scumminess in dere. His Roundness continues ta be a bit uf a piledriver, being pulled away from numbah one, onlah tah once agin slam back. Bain, Iola, R34lg33k are up dere with Dolgan and Ninastar in da wings. Magnumpower un Woopydoo continue to chase intah da top 20. Below them, other Scum continue their movements. Gloryinchaos thumped on da liller green menace ta gain 12 ranks to 73, bakryu un Ziggylabeu raised 32 ranks un 81 ranks respectively tah land at 291 un 333.

"Finallah, uthah den ahr two terribly stamp aversion scum, de uthah scum keeps gettin bettah. Almost halfah us scum ahr now in da 95% club! 15 uthahs are in da 75% club! Keep hammerun away at da noobs and babes in da arena ta gitcher items! Goooooooo team Scum!

While he waits for the echoing cheers to die back, he sips at his fez. Clearing his throat again, he snaps a salute to the Gbrain, then makes a running dive off of the bar through the open hatch into the bilge, closing the hatch after him with a loud echoing BANG!

... week ending Nov 21, 2011

Sunday, November 20, 2011


I was thumbing through an index of author's blogs the other day when Steven Brust's name popped out at me.  I immediately clicked that link and bookmarked that baby because he's the author of the Vlad Taltos series, one of my favorites.  As a matter of fact, I pretty much love everything this guy has done, but Vlad holds a special place in my heart.  He and his jhereg Loiosh.

I'm a bit dragon infatuated, truth be told.  My martial arts background really helped develop that because of the dragon's relationship to disciplines, none of which I actually practiced for more than, oooh ... a month ...  and it was called Green Dragon, if I recall.  White tiger, green dragon?  Something like that.  Anyway, I have a rather nice collection of dragons in my possession, most of whom have homes in my bookshelves when I do actually have bookshelves.

A place of pride on those shelves is my collection of Steven Brust.  Imagine a world where the Chinese 12-year cycle rules your lives, your personalities, your friends, your livelihood and vocation.  Dogs and Tigers and Horses would get along famously, but we'd have little patience for Dragons and their haughty ways or the rest of their triumvirate of friends.  We'd do business with others, but shy away from the Roosters and  their tight-fisted dealings with money.  We might worry about Rats sneaking into our homes at night or operating gambling dens or we might seek them out to hire them for a bit of dirty work.

Enter Brust's playground, the world of Dragaera and the home of Vlad Taltos, a Jhereg.  Here's a bit of alonger description from one of the fansites, "There are two major species: Easterners and Dragaerans. Dragaerans are an elf-like species who live thousands of years. Easterners are a more real-world human population with a life-span of approximately 100 years and have more human-like characteristics ... like facial hair. Both species call themselves "humans;" however, Dragaerans consider Easterners something less than human.

There are 17 Houses in the Dragaeran Empire each named after a species of animal in Dragaera. Each House has its own uniform/color-scheme and its own distinct personality. The House of the Jhereg is the only one that admits Easterners. It is the House of criminal enterprises, much like the mafia.


In Dragaera, there exists witchcraft (primarily utilized by Easterners), sorcery (which relies on the presence of the Orb), and then the illegal and volatile Elder Sorcery. The main character in this series, Vlad Taltos, plays with them all."


Vlad lives on the shady side of the street and has a real Jhereg as a pet, his familiar, Loiosh, who is as reverent a sidekick as, say Nargoth, would be, which is to say "not at all."  An assassin by trade, he trusts completely in his knife and blade, and a bit less so in the magical arts he employs. 

The series .. there are more than a few, probably more than "a lot," are all stand-alone adventures.  It matters not which order you read them in because Brust hasn't written them in chronological order.

Words, Words, Words, The Dreamcafé.
Steven Brust's blog

Now .. if this hasn't yet convinced you, I'm going to take you to visit the site of a free downloadable book .. a fanfiction, if you will. And I know you'll all be jumping right on the link at the bottom once you read this exceprt ...


I think I’m so civilized cause I’m living my life saying hello and good-bye
But all around me people make me so mad I could be spitting in their eye
So I’m no better than the bad criminals who hit, cheat, and burglarize
‘Cos compared to all of those neat super-heroes I am a mean-guy.
I always say please and thank you and you’re welcome, ‘cos I am very polite
But overdraft fees and automatic phone help makes me ready to fight
I don’t wanted to listen to idiots blab
I don’t want drink until I’m in rehab
I just want go into my secret lab and make like a mean guy.
I’m a mean guy I’m a mean mean guy
Oh, I’m a mean guy.
I’m a Green Goblin guy I’m a Venom guy, oh I’m a mean guy.
Cos compared to Spidey so strong and so brave
Compared to Batman in his bat cave
Compared to a boy who knows how to behave
I am a mean guy.
In man’s evolution he has created boundaries between every nation
Which is nothing but asking for guys like to me to go for world domination
Cos I’m happier than I might seem
When I’m with my hand-picked team
Making an invisible destructor beam
Cause I am a mean guy.
I’m a mean guy I’m a mean mean guy
Oh, I’m a mean guy.
I’m a Marvel guy I’m a D.C., oh I’m a mean guy.
I watch the world through my periscope
Hatching schemes that will work I hope
Maybe next week I’ll kidnap the Pope.
I am a mean guy.
Come on and join me, by my mean guy pal.
We’ll share the world, you can have Lonsdale.
I’m a mean guy I’m a mean mean guy
Oh, I’m a mean guy.
I’m a Green Goblin guy I’m a Venom guy, oh I’m a mean guy.
I’ll be your Joker you’ll be Harley Quinn
I’ll make you rich and you’ll make me win
If our plans our foiled we’ll just try again
I am a mean guy.
I’m a mean guy I’m a mean mean guy
Oh, I’m a mean guy.
I’m a Doc Oc guy I’m a Burglar guy, oh I’m a mean guy.
I want to own everything I see.
I’m Ayn Rand’s child by Bill Nietzsche
Until the superheroes catch up with me.
I’ll be a mean guy.
He always smiled when Serenity first kissed atmo.

That was the moment that separated pilots; a sloppy entry cost fuel, a perfect entry saved fuel, and the difference could be the difference between a healthy profit and a disastrous loss. When you kissed atmo, it was all touch; suddenly the number of variables increased by an order of magnitude: the shape of the ship, the tilt of her nose, the attitude adjusters, speed, direction, the density and exact composition of the upper atmosphere—all of it.

Mal never noticed, of course; none of them noticed. They'd only notice if he did it badly; then he would, no doubt, get all sorts of looks and remarks. And it would cut into his profits as it would the rest of the crew's.

But none of that was why he made his entries as close to perfect as humanly possible: he did it because it was what he loved doing. The challenges to a pilot in the black were rare, and usually involved some form of terror. But the first touch of atmo on a new planet, setting up the slide, the deceleration, balancing skin heat with fuel cost, inert-damp with gravity—feeling part of the boat in a way even Kaylee, bless her heart, could never know—those were the moments of living. That was the best.

He was aware of the first hint of rudder to port, and nose up, and then the thrust control was under his right hand; and after that for a while he could no longer follow the details, because he was no longer using controls—it wasn't cause and effect, it was just one long effect as distinctions blurred. Pilot to control, control to boat, boat to atmo, atmo to gravity, gravity to pilot: they were all the same thing as Serenity sang the song only Wash could hear. After an interminable twenty seconds that was over so quickly it may never have existed, the decisions were made, the hard part past, and everything was, alas, easy again. It was morning on this part of Hera.

From the co-pilot's chair, Mal said, "How's the entry?"

"It's an entry. They're all the same."

My Own Kind of Freedom
A Firefly Novel by Steven Brust
Yes, yes, click the picture for the link

Saturday, November 19, 2011






HOWDY TROOPS!


Howdy Ladies and Germs! OK, I know the chef promised to stay away from the booze after my ordeal two weeks ago. HOWEVER, I just could not get enough of this...

Nectar of the Gods, Number Two


Yup, after a gig the other night, I tried this stuff for the first time, and I just could not put the bottle down. No, it is NOT a high alcohol content, but, after polishing off a few bottles of this stuff..........

Okay, not my best moment ...

Gboss, Mr. Ghetto, our fearless leader Sir, I have to apologize! I am so sorry for this kind of behavior! This is not how one from a "classy" guild like ours should conduct oneself. Hey, wait a minute.... WE'RE SCUM! Are we not supposed to act accordingly? Well, I will leave that up to you to decide!


 If you would like to know more about this awesome booze (or just see their awesome flash animation), here is the web address.

OK, this scum has sobered up now, and i gotta hot date with the Barenjager Barmaid!


Gotta love those Germans ... um,... er.... both of them!

OK Scum, gotta scoot, but I will return next week with another thrilling adventure! And as the Chef always says ... HICCUP! BUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRPPPPPPPPP!  OOOOPPPSSSS ... SORRY GHETTO! I said I was done with that kind of behavior!






Friday, November 18, 2011

Iola, sitting in for Revliss, whom, I understand, is off on a shopping binge.  In Vegas.  With the guild treasure chest.   Hmmm ... should we be concerned?

Why didn't they think of this sooner?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Pwnies Dungeon Update

We're starting to trickle home, a tired but victorious batch of mercenaries. Quilp bashed around the Cybernetic Zombie, receiving a few bruises, but is going home with virtually undented armour. Shiny!

So, to recap ... that's six dungeons down, an increase of 12% gold and experience for the Pwnies, and we leave behind $10,417,072 gold in their coffers.

I say .. "job well done, Scum."

Glad to be home though.


Birthday Bash & more

Birthday Bash

Venkman is actually the only man to get a big 25 birthday this week, hitting the big 200 (koshka was close and wanted so bad to beat me) Venkman is a sleepy looking human with a killer looking shield and phallic symbols on his neck, head, chest and shoes .. can anyone say "overcompensation?"

95% club

Gains another. Only one more needed to be at 50%. Gratz to Iola for making a big 4% jump and joining the club.

Pwnies Dungeon Update

Ungorth the Merciless met Bain the Merciless today and the match-up was epic. Who wins in such a case? Turns out that fiery arrows of death are more than Ungorth can take. He succumbed to the puncturing without Bain breaking into a sweat.

And so My Li'l Pwnies wins Dungeon # 27, The Cave of the Graverobbers, with Quilp still left to weild his demon sword.

Dungeon #28 check-in is occuring now and will be our last. You'll see us returning home right after, win or lose. If we get a few more Pwnies to sign up for the battles, the win is within our reach. Without them .. no telling, unless Quilp's prowess turns out to be as legendary as Bain's.


Until then .. rock on!


Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Pwnies Dungeon Update

Pwnies have successfully negotiated the circus of the damned that is Dungeon #26, finally ending up facing The Dancing Ogre Brothers. You remember them!

Badness, formerly of Zombunny finished off the duo quite ably. Click in for #27 is happening right now!

And now you know how they did it.

Pwnies Dungeon Update

Dungeon # 25 is in the history books. And going down as the general leading the charge this time ... our friend from Okinawa .. r34lg33k! Way to go, buddy! Here's a wee clip I caught of Magnumpwer and r34lg33k outside the bar after the fight.


Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Pwnies Dungeon Update

Dungeon # 24 is behind us. Woopydoo found some whoop-ass he left in his jacket pocket and finished off this boss!



Then he opened a beer. Maybe more than one.

Now we're on our way to Dungeon #25 now and the Woopster is plastered!

It's this time of the week, when all of you gather around ZE column that will go down in history! You like the music, you love the video clips, and you learn so much about people. Yes, my friends, here is another Soundcheck.

This week, we take a look at our own pizza boy, Pizzar! Boy oh boy, aren't we excited! Let's get started!

You all know our little Pizza is an awesome guy. He's been rather quiet lately, but I'm sure he has his reasons. But let's see, what could you say about him? How would you describe Pizzy in a single word? I'm sure you all came with a word in mind by now. No need to put them in the comments, we don't want our friend to take it the wrong way like a certain someone did on the forums. (We're gonna burn through this joke soon guys, no worries. :P)

But you probably didn't come up with the word that would best suit Pizzar. Let's see what his parents were listening to while they were playing Bees and Flowers (fun game by the way) :


That's right people!! Of all things, Pizzy is funky! I know you're all making "aaahhhhh yeah yeah", "so true" and "tsk, I should have come up with that, that's so Pizzar!" comments right now.

And watch out for the light shows in that video! I don't even need to tell you when they are, you'll know without a doubt. Don't crash on the floor shaking! Oh... should I have written this up there? Oh well...

So our little Funky Baby soon became a teenager. Although a funky teenager. When he turned 14, his life was pretty calm. He wasn't looking for trouble or causing problems. This is what was playing on the radio, and he learned a lot from the video of this song.


That day, he learned that doing violent acts is ok, as long as you do it in slow motion. You can then also walk on broken glass, puncture yourself with needles and play Bees and Flowers with the TV. Well that last part wasn't so bad, now, was it... But back to Pizzar!

He grew taller and got bigger, and soon was 21 years-old Pizza. He was still funky, but sadly, the world around him wasn't anymore, and he was forced to suppress his funkiness in front of his friends. While in the car, heading to the convenience store for some booze, this is what was playing :


Blame the years! What are they saying in this? Bling bling women likes to have money and gifts, gimme gimme, no, then no booty booty. We all know our Pizz better than that. Number 1 hits past 2000 are... insert your own opinion here .

So all in all, I think our favorite Pizza got everything he needs in his funkiness, that's how we like him. We should work on a new #1 hit song called FunkyScum.

"Don't you take me to, Severed Toooongue.
Don't you take me to, FunkyScuuuumm.
Don't you take me to, Severed Tooooongue.
I need my tongue to, sing this sooooong."

A hit forever in my heart!

Cheers all, and come back next week as we go through Ziglabeu's private journal and garbage, looking for his past! Yayyy, garbage!!

I once knew a bawdy gnome, Neville,
who oft left the tavern disheveled.
After each visit he paid
to the scullery maid,
whose skirt ended right at eye level.


- sbbenhcs, the "so nice you heard it twice" poet

For some of you, that's an old one. for others, it's new to you. As for me, I just spent a week in Los Angeles, and that's enough to fry anybody's noggin for a few days. Fresh debauchery next week ...  promise.

Pwnies Dungeon Update

Dungeon #23 is behind us. Redwood18 proved to have what it took to kick some Butthead.


More cheering!