blatherings from the bilge

As several of you have seen, I am back online and working through thirst.

surgery only had a few hitches:
1) after four hours of being without fluids due to doctor's preop instructions.. they had a hard time finding veins for IVs to use.  That was a 'fun' 25 minutes of poking and prodding.  and they were less competent at it than several persons attempting to backstab GhettoForce.

2) once the surgery was over.. well.. I was still 'under' about 10-15 minutes longer than they had figured I would be... so they were kind of annoyed and poking at me to wake me up.  Oh sure.. stab a guy repeatedly in the arm, cut into his neck and then expect him to be all light and cheery when you have to FORCE him awake?  are you freakin mental?

*sigh*
throat hurts pretty nastily and coughing or sneezing makes me feel like my head will literally fly off.  I am on a restricted diet (no Elf boots at all :( ) for several days now.

And you ask what the next step is? we wait of course.  Wait for the labs to come back on the latest piece of the gobbo to be severed and submitted for testing.  At least this time it is only about 2cm square.

Thanks for all the good thoughts and cheerful greetings from you :)

Robert/Alyxyn

Blatherings from the Bilge

The little green menace has been pretty quiet for a while as he shuffles into the guildhall.  Tired, bedraggled, looking to have lost weight and with a rather haunted look in his eyes, he drags his weapon across the floor of the guildhall to GBoss' chair.  Taking out a knife, he uses it to stab a note into the back of the throne and pin it there before opening his hatch down into the bilge.  Dropping through almost bonelessly, he closes the trapdoor after him with a loud BANG the reverbates through the halls.

When people come stumbling back from their missions, from their tortures, from their beds, there is a worn, stained and slightly damp note attached by that dagger into the throne.  Upon it is scratched the following in what may just be guard blood:

"da damned quack healers haf let me kno dat it aint ovah yet.  da sumtin in mah throats gotta com out.  Ah seez a slab agin on July 26th, roundabouts two thutty pm Pacific.  Ah hopes ta kip mah head when dey playz wit mah neck.

-Alyxyn"

Update on Blatherings from the Bilge

Okay, it has been a while since the bards have visited with the goblinoid menace so you are probably getting tired of typing with your fingers crossed and the sheer number of candles that have been lit for him has long since passed into near epic quantities.

So, let us visit the latest information on that menace (currently mostly to himself) named Alyxyn.

As of three weeks ago, he sat up in bed as he was having trouble swallowing.  He was rather surprised not to find either a small goblin, pet, or huge spider sitting on his next trying to end his life.  Instead, what he found was that on the left side of his throat, there was a hard swelling between 1 and 2 inches in size.  Before he could really think things through, it occurred to him that the town criers had lately been lamenting that the pollen counts in the air had reached largely uncountable levels, citing counts of 800+ when "dangerous" was barely 100.  So.. He wasn't terribly worried, doubled his concoction to fight Mother Nature's assault upon him and went to sleep again.

However, when he awakened again, things had not gotten any better so the Menace sent some gold to a healer to reserve some time.  Healer come and Healer go with no conclusion other than "yup, its something".  Rituals were thrown and readings taken and again no conclusion could be derived. Finally further rituals and blood sacrifice was offered on another altar before the Priests could conclude that, while they still could not recognize the specific breed of 'whatever', that it was NOT good and that the swelling needed to be removed.

And now.. the waiting begins again.  Now a special healer needs to be contracted to throw the Menace onto an altar and slice into his throat without removing his head.

When will this be? ..... sometime soon is all they can tell me currently.

Blatherings from the Bilge

I am continuing to write this ooc as currently I am finding it hard to write terribly humourously and haven't had much 'spare' energy to do so I fear.  And Now for the update:

On May 5th, I checked into the hospital and entered into surgerical procedures early as the docs wanted to use an epidural to lessen my pain levels. The epidural procedure went smoothly and I was off into medicated lands easily. This first procedure went well and I was slipped into a room to recover which I did apparently smoothly, emerging without Bladder and prostateless but with 40 staples running from my sternum downward.

Until about 1am May 7th. 

At that time, while being moved in my bed, I felt something 'give' and shred in my abdomen. Due to procedures, nursing staff isnt permitted to remove surgical binding so, from that time until my doc came in around 10am I had issues. I hiccupped agonizingly every few seconds until I would pass out. After passing out, of course, the nursing staff would have to wake me from the bliss of painless oblivion to begin hiccupping again. Come 10am the doctor was able to check my wound and determined that my fascia had torn, in essence the muscles of my abdomen walls had torn around the staples. Emergency surgery ensued and I awakened hours later with more tubes emerging from my body than an elaborate Halloween costume, 30 new individual stitches and several sutures securing my abdominal wall.

Since that time, recovery has been slow but systematic with some odd fits and starts.

May 14th was a delightful day in which I was cut loose from the hospital and permitted to return home. Settling into home I am relearning parts of how to live and expectations to have for myself. Home Health is entering my life to assist in changes that are being necessary. Currently, for instance, sitting up for long periods (more than 15 min or so) can be be painful due to the folding of my abdomen.

On May 17 I visited the docs and they removed my lengthy list of staples and sutures. My wounds continue to drain well and at a 'healthy rate' and I basically wear a tight tension binder about my abdomen and chest (sort of like a corset). The idea is that if I sneeze, cough, hiccup or make other 'rather expected and violent' reactions of my chest, the binder should keep my abdomen from reinjuring while it slowly heals.

However, as is normal in the chronicle that has become my life, "it just doesn't end".  Last night my wife was driving myself and our housemate to a large store to get fresh wound dressing supplies. when, at a stop light, we were rearended by a large pickup truck.

Police ensued and the other driver ended up being arrested for Driving Under the Influence and I ended up going to the nearest hospital.  Despite being on Oxycodone, my head and neck and shoulder were hurting and.. we pretty much all felt it important that I be looked over to ensure no complications to my abdominal wounds had occurred due to the jarring impact.  

Three hours of examinations and Xrays later, I was back home with a seriously strained right trapezius muscle (the big triangular muscle that connects the neck to the point of shoulder and downwards).  This morning as I type this, it is pretty much a solid mass.  No additional damage was done to my existing wounds but 2 doctors, 4 ER nurses, 2 police officers and Lord knows how many other medical staff got one of their first chances to see an 'almost new' chest stoma and my other wounds.  I have gotten accustomed to sort of feeling like an animal on display at a zoo to a degree.

So.. that is the latest word.  Feel free to ask questions as you have them if you do.

Blatherings from the Bilge

Okay.. doing this out of character just because.. well.. it is a bit easier right now ;)

As of midnight last night I started an all liquid diet to prepare for the surgery.  

At 5am Pacific tomorrow May 5th, I check in for surgery in sunglasses, sombrero and packing a bottle of Patron for the surgical team.

At 7:30am they knock me out to start the ball rolling and the scoop and toss begins in which they remove parts of my anatomy to get ahead of the cancer.

By 2:30pm Pacific, if everything goes well, I should be waking up, stoned on pain meds, in my hospital room.

From that point, I will be in the hospital 5-7 days before release.
After release, there is a 6 week recovery period with an ETA for returning to my work on June 23rd.

Sometimes during this ordeal I will be upgraded from liquid diet to 'low residue' diet.. and eventually back to normal eating.  Docs aren't willing to estimate that progression however so all your boots are probably safe for now.

I will have my tablet with me so you will see me in Shakes boobytrapping GBoss' throne to keep him honest and humble (yeah right.. I just like seeing him running around the guild with his pants on fire).

See you as I can!

Robert/Alyxyn