Scumbase

Staggering out of the bilge with an odd portside list, Alyxyn makes his way to the galley and grabs some 'napkins' to begin setting rattail to paper. After a couple of loud belches and a few messy quaffs from his Oktoberfest mug, he uses some discarded rat components to scratch the latest news to paper. The following scribbles can eventually be descriphered from the disquieting green and yellow of the 'ink':

Welcum to anudder weekly bulletin frum yer halfpint halfwit in da bilge. Dis week kicks off an Oktoberfest celebration in which dat moronic grins of fresh young barmaids are found littering da bar und yer mushrooms can be turned in an unlimited number ah times wit dat barkeep. Be careful tho. In da words dat echo frum da forums and frum Gboss, da Gods Dat Be ahr watchin out fer bot use and will lock accounts fer it.

Now dat stated, in mah brief moment of sobriety between trips ta da bar un questin to get up to my favorite elfbootseses, ah figgered ah needed to bring ya'll up ta dat wit stuff.

In breaking news, Endless has been busy upgrading their ranks. Whether this is a temporary measure to do raids or if it is permanent is uncertain. What is certain is that we lost several battles in a row to them which actually did drop us below 10k honor for a lil bit. Lets be click in and kickin in everyon. We can still beat them but we need everyone on the frontlines to do it.

Second.. in an editorial.. dit dit dit dot dot dot.... don't worry if Jaded Tickler is spam attacking you. Da lowly green menace dat is me is NOT spamattacking him no matter what he sayz. JT however IS spamattacking guildees while da green menaces uses him as an honor milkcow. Mah mushies are better spent levelling, especially during Oktoberfest. When he attacks you, thank him by email for contributing to the number of victories you have and that you will be awarded for. He has contributed himself a few dozen times to this lowlife green menace's victory award.

Third, in our ever continuing push to get everyone well into their scrapbooks, we have one of the big bosses now leading the way with a 12.41% increase. YAY! Go Zimmi! She is followed by Morhdd and Rizzo34 with over 3% apiece. Overall we are at 81.35% average. Remember, every little stamp counts more for your own Exp acquisition. (ha! bet ya didn't think ah gnew dat 5 gold piece werd) The more ya got, the more exp ya get. The more exp ya gets, the better da guild does. Kick butts! Take stamps!

Finally in "As Da Scum Turns," we continue to build of course. Iola and Zimmi have been holding cal.. exe.. jumping jacks in da lounge to help get everyone in shape and it seems to be showing. Other than the bulging eyes, the slack jaws and puddles of drool over da bosses, da Scum gained 61 new ranks this week with the average now raising to 210. Rizzo34 and Redwood18 even managed so much 'training' that they grew 3 ranks! With this week's Oktoberfest, ah suspects this will jump up still further for next week. Keep up dat good werk.

Death from Below! Go Scum!

*with these words written, Alyxyn molds his face under his ducttape Batman mask, belches loudly and passes out to perfect his dwarven impression.*

... Week of September 19, 2011