Where was Torpedo?

Weapon of Choice:

Dagger (obviously)	1 (5%)
Flying Sheep	4 (21%)
AK-47	3 (15%)
Holy Hand Grenade	3 (15%)
Two Daggers (duh!)	5 (26%)
Tactical Nuclear Penguin	7 (36%)
Duct Tape	3 (15%)
Chainsaw (w/ massacre)	1 (5%)

Votes so far: 19

Weapons! Glorious weapons! We all love weapons, that much is clear. Though some receive more love then others.

Beer. That is scum's weapon of choice. Yes, I know it says Tactical Nuclear Penguin, but it is a beer name... so it is kind of a double win. It is clear, we are all playing the right game. Some of us also remembered what Guild we are in, and voted the double daggers. You make the founders proud I'm sure. Third highest was Flying Sheep. Which means that people either love the old computer game Worms, or they just thought flying sheep was funny. Or potentially thought it was a Monty Python reference, but let's be honest, that would have been a cow, or maybe a giant wooden bunny. Of course, I couldn't leave off some of our guilds favorite weapon of choice: duct tape. Unfortunately, many of us have been victims at some point. I'm pretty sure I still have scarring from pulling it off.

About bloody time

Best Comic Book Adaptation:

TMNT	1 (3%)
Superman (Reeve)	2 (6%)
Batman Begins	7 (24%)
Iron Man	4 (13%)
Spiderman	2 (6%)
The Crow	3 (10%)
X-Men Trilogy	9 (31%)
V for Vendetta	0 (0%)
Fantastic Four	0 (0%)
Watchmen	1 (3%)
Ghost Rider	0 (0%)
Daredevil / Elecktra	0 (0%)

What do you mean these polls are suppose to be regular? Truth is, I just felt like I was making all the other writers look bad so I let my poll slide for a week or so. Yeah.... that's it.

X-Men for the win! Certainly a trilogy I enjoyed but with to many quibbles to get my vote. A close runner up with the new Batman series, and who can argue with that? Those movies amaze me. Many bad selections got no votes, and thank goodness... some of those movies are just terribad. Having said that, whoever voted for TMNT.... I <3 you.

This never happened

This is not the poll your looking for...

Yes	4 (25%)
No	3 (18%)
Spam	7 (43%)
I don't get it	5 (31%)
Did I see you yesterday?	4 (25%)
.....	4 (25%)
WTF?	7 (43%)

Votes so far: 16

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy	9 (45%)
Ender's Game	2 (10%)
The Foundation Series	0 (0%)
Dune	0 (0%)
Rendezvous with Rama	0 (0%)
Fahrenheit 451	1 (5%)
A Wrinkle in Time	1 (5%)
Stranger in a Strange Land	1 (5%)
Hyperion Cantos	1 (5%)
Other - Tell us in the comments	5 (25%)

Votes so far: 20

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy wins by a landslide, and I can't say I'm complaining as it is one of my all time favorites. Apparently, I missed a lot of people's favorites as Other is our next big winner. I was a little shocked no one picked Dune, but what do I know... SF isn't really my category. I have randomly selected whoever picked A Wrinkle in Time to be the sitter I need for this weekend. Congratulations! I hope you are in our Guild, or someone is going to get a surprise.


Seriously though, I need a sitter for someone this weekend, let me know if you are able.

A book by any other name

Favorite Book/Series -- Fantasy Edition

Lord of the Rings	5 (22%)
Harry Potter	2 (9%)
Wheel of TIme	3 (13%)
A Song of Ice & Fire	3 (13%)
Mistborn Trilogy	4 (18%)
Discworld Series	2 (9%)
The Malazan	0 (0%)
The Name of the Wind	1 (4%)
Lies of Locke Lamora	1 (4%)
Shannara Series	1 (4%)

Votes so far: 22

We appear to be a well read lot, at least in the fantasy genre if the spread of votes is any indication. LotR just barely won, I believe it was the very last vote that pushed it over the edge, showing we are also traditional scum -- shame on you! Mistborn came in 2nd, along with the Wheel of Time I kind of doubled up (1.5 up'd?) on Brandon Sanderson, but I'm apparently not the only one who likes him. If you haven't given any of his books a try I recommend him. The Malazan Book of the Fallen is our only real loser. To obscure or just not well liked?

Honestly, I have read and liked almost all of these series at some point, and would recommend them all if you like these sorts of books but I want to give a special shout out to The Lies of Locke Lamora (Book 1 of The Gentleman Bastards). If you are a GRRM fan, and you haven't read Scott Lynch make sure to rectify that problem posthaste.

Tofu

Hoptimus Prime Up/Up/Down/Down/L/R/L/R BA Select	10 (41%)
Nut Sack Ale	1 (4%)
Donkey Punch	3 (12%)
Hop Whore	3 (12%)
Polygamy Porter	2 (8%)
Moose Drool Ale	11 (45%)
Old Leghumper Porter	4 (16%)

Votes so far: 24

Best beer names, evah! Though since the writing of this I have heard Tactical Nuclear Penguin* and Holy Grail Ale... both of which I would have added if I knew. Moose Drool just hedged out contra code for the best name, though I have a suspicion it was more for its taste then the name. Anything to do with the male genitals was not terribly popular with scum** and, alas Kami, neither was Hop Whore. I guess she is all yours! Well, you may have to share with the polygamists as well I suppose.







*Ghetto disputes that Tactical Nuclear Penguin, is indeed, actually beer.
** I should have found a beer named after boobies.

Polling for Pollings sake.

Polls (obviously)	2 (10%)
Best Books 2 Movie Adaptations	3 (15%)
Favorite Beer Type	5 (25%)
Favorite Book / Genre	5 (25%)
Favorite Country to Vacation in	3 (15%)
Other (comment in last Census Report)	2 (10%)

Votes so far: 20
Poll closed

Scum likes books and beer! This just proves Scum is easily confused... anything with a B will do. It is a good thing I didn't put boobs on this poll.

Some scum just want polls about polls. They never meta poll they didn't like.

To the two scum who voted other w/o actually posting an other in the last Census report -- Congrats! That was a really scummy thing to do.

Canada	5 (27%)
England	1 (5%)
Germany	0 (0%)
Japan	0 (0%)
Netherlands	2 (11%)
Norway	1 (5%)
Spain	0 (0%)
United States	9 (50%)
Other	0 (0%)

Votes so far: 18
Poll closed

So, not surprisingly we are mostly from the US & Canada. Though I admit to being a little disappointed in how many of us 50 scum bother to vote in the poll, especially this one as I was hoping to get a good sense of our regional demographic. I'm pretty sure I know who voted Netherlands and Norway (Hi Ghetto, Nargipoofufu & Ciciz!), but who is our English brethren? Just curious. Also, if you have a new poll idea, feel free to leave it in the comments.

... --- ...

I sent such a clever message and still nobody came along to fill the request so I could get out of this soup pot! I had to encode it or the green one would figure it out. Luckily for me, he isn't very smart.

-.-. --- -.. .

... --- ...	5 (33%)
-. . . -..	2 (13%)
-. . .--	1 (6%)
-.-. .... . ..-.	7 (46%)

Votes so far: 15
Poll closed

It is unanimous, everybody is tired of bean curd soup.

Happy Scum Year!

Quilp for 2012! Make the Quilp Rounder! Make the Quilp Rounder! As I believe Morhdd₁ said, if you didn't vote for Quilp 'your doing it wrong.'

Scum New Year's Resolution

Find a new Chef	3 (21%)
Keep daggers sharpened	0 (0%)
Help AAylia w/ her plots	3 (21%)
Get new duct tape for Revliss	1 (7%)
Eat less soy products	0 (0%)
Recruit HAL 9000 to the Guild	3 (21%)
Make Quilp Rounder!	4 (28%)

Votes so far: 14
Poll closed

It is possible you voted for a new Chef in hopes that it would make his Roundness rounder, or you just don't think the bean curd soup I've been feeding the Guild since Duncan left cuts the mustard₂. Three people resolve to help AAylia with her plots, so watch out GForce, she is not without minions! Do you know who they are? It is possible they are trying to recruit HAL 9000 for one of her nefarious schemes.

Revliss, I hope your secret santa got you that new duct tape you'd always been hoping for!



₁If it wasn't Morhdd, I apologize, I have a horrible memory :-/
₂Hey it isn't my fault Alyxyn keeps throwing me in the soup pot.

A song writer, I am not

One thing is sure: I am horrible at making up scummy Xmas songs and pretty much everyone agrees.

Favorite Christmas Song (Scum style)

Dreaming of a White Scumbase	2 (12%)
Joy to the Scumlord!	1 (6%)
Fleas Navidad	4 (25%)
Jingle Balls Rock	1 (6%)
Satan Baby	0 (0%)
Tofurkey, you really suck at this	8 (50%)

Votes so far: 16

However, we also seem to really like songs about Fleas, maybe because so many of us have them.

Scummy Robots

R2D2 (Sorry C3P0)	2 (11%)
Caprica-6	4 (22%)
K-9	1 (5%)
KITT	2 (11%)
Bender	6 (33%)
Marvin	3 (16%)
Roomba	2 (11%)
GLaDOS	2 (11%)
HAL 9000	7 (38%)
Any kind, as long as it fetches beer	4 (22%)

Votes so far: 18

Maybe not surprisingly we like our robots scummy. In particular, we like it when they try and kill us. HAL 9000 was our top vote getter, but Caprica-6 and GLaDOS will also gladly kill/dismember us. Apparently the only thing better then a homicidal robot is one that is also losing his mind. Caprica-6 was only a little behind, so for the rest of scum, if a robot is going to try and kill you it should at least be good looking₁. Fair enough.


Bender comes in second though, and for this I am a little ashamed of my scummy compatriots. I mean, come on! It is a robot that consumes alcohol! If this guy isn't born scum I don't know who is. Even more disturbing is how few votes the robot who BRINGS you alcohol got. I thought that was a sure thing₂ knowing how lazy you scum are AND that I let you vote for more then one. Three people prefer their robots to try and kill themselves, H2G2 style. If you didn't vote for Marvin, you must not have read Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy. I wouldn't admit to that though, as it is a cause of great shame.

One thing is abundantly clear though -- we don't like our robots helpful. Sorry R2D2, K-9, Kitt and Roomba... you just aren't scummy enough for this lot. With a total of only 7 votes, more people would rather be killed by HAL then the lot of you together.



₁ Sorry HAL, that monotone red light just isn't sexy any more.
₂ I ordered two last week so I could have one coming while the other was going.

Scum don't know NOTHING!

It is true, we are a happily ignorant lot. That must be why we didn't even know how a raven is like a writing desk₁. Actually, our esteemed leader even queried "... what is a writing desk?" Kind of makes a scum proud to have such knowledgeable leadership. We did know one important thing though -- we scum didn't understand the purpose of either₂. Hey, at least if you know your ignorant that's half the battle right?

How is a raven like a writing desk?

Because Poe wrote on both	4 (23%)
Because it slopes with a flap	0 (0%)
Because it can produce a few notes	0 (0%)
Because they both come with inky quills	3 (17%)
Because Scum doesn't understand the purpose of either	10 (58%)

₁You do know it is a joke right? For more enlightening... read this

₂Points to the 4 scum who knew who Poe was. Assuming you didn't think I misspelled poor :)

What would you do, for some Tofu?

So my very first poll is closed! To the surprise of... um, nobody¹, I chose to make it about Tofu. What is the deal with Tofu? Why would I choose to associate myself with this weird spongy soy bean curd product anyway? That is a long/short interesting/boring story for another time², let's just say that if you see a Tofu³ on another game server there is probably about a 50% chance° that it is me. Anyway, the results!

Extra Firm	2 (13%)
Silken	0 (0%)
Chou doufu (Stinky)	1 (6%)
Tofurkey	2 (13%)
This is not the bean curd your looking for	2 (13%)
There is such thing as a favorite?	2 (13%)
Honestly, you can't even spell Tofurky correctly? It is your screen name!	3 (20%)
Mmmm... tasteless spongy soy product.	3 (20%)

As you can tell, nobody likes Silken Tofu. I for one, think this is a crying shame. Why wouldn't you like the silken curds of bean in your daily meal? I mean, aside from the obvious ones?

Two of our nigh illustrious members prefer theirs extra firm. However, I'm reasonably sure they didn't read that we were talking about Tofu.

Two of you showed wonderful sense and picked me as your favorite variety of Tofu*. Frankly, I don't understand how anyone could have picked anything else.

Two of us are star wars g33ks more then anything else... and.. could ... not resist... star wars... reference.

Two of you don't understand why we had a poll on Tofu at all, and to you... stop thinking, it is bad for scum.

Three people would like to chastise me for spelling Tofurky incorrectly in my screen name±

Three don't care how they get their Tofu as long as they get it. These people are probably health nuts and going to live to 100. So it can't be Duncan then.

Lastly, some one voted for stinky tofu. Assuming you didn't get that confused with yours truly, you must tell me in the comments what you were thinking. Seriously.

¹ That nobody is so easily surprised.

² Like never, is never good for you?

³ Tofu, Tofurkey, Tofurky, MrTofu, TofuRobot, you get the idea

Did you know they only have 3 subscripts in HTML? I feel short changed...

° Seriously, there is always 1 other, who is that guy anyway and what is wrong with him/her?

* Kiss asses. Wipe that brown off your noses.

± Seriously, Looooooooser!