Three weeks in a row? This can not be happening, there is too much joy coming our of my pores, I have to go to the toilet for a rainbow throw-up, four-leaf clovers are popping out of my Lucky Charms! Is this level of ecstasy even allowed in these mortals realms?

Yes, my friend, it is, as I present to you, for the third week in a row, Soundcheck! Now you actually have to know that for me, at the present time in Japan, it is presently 2:15am on March 7th. In other terms, wayy to early for my column. But is happens that tonight, is a great night!

In a nutshell, I have :

• been contacted by a relatively known translation company in the world
• found 5 new private English students
• found a supervisor and place to do my Canadian University exam
• possibly fixed my VISA problem (will be vague until later this week)
• reconciled the relationship with the girlfriend pretty much back to normal and therefore am very happy.

To be fair, I am:

• drunk on a pineapples/lemons/35%-alcohol/two-year-old home-made thingy that was in the back of my fridge
• relatively 'tilted' from a good and safe source of 'enjoyment'
• begged to write this column right now by Ghetto (hey, what can you do, I whine, he begs, make your pick)

I intend to let this be whatever it comes out to be, no alteration done!

So let's do this!!

This week, we receive on our boards someone who's sense of humor is underestimated. We have been making fun of him for quite a while here and there and never has he shown a sign of "all-right people, enough now". He took and still takes it all like a man, he's been flooding our chat with crap, he has earned the right to laugh about our Dear Lord Ghetto the Manslayer himself, that's right, here's your man, Morhdd!

The song is on the rhythm of Happy Birthday to You!

And then I realized, it ends with orhdd and I am completely screwed!

Screw you Ghetto!!!!
So I go back to the Guild Chat and ask him: how do you pronounce "Morhdd" and he says "how do I know kami (with no capitals)... more harddiskdrives?"
And Nargoth answers : "Bored"
And ensues a list of none-sense ending with weird sounds that more-or-less sound like 'ord'.......
...

FINE, watch the drunken art!

It is your turn, dear Morhdd,
You made Nargoth so bored!
You can't afford
Dodging my word,
Please don't feel like a turd.
Because as a completely drunk person under the influence of Ghetto, that is not my goal!

Blame the Lord on that one! ... Hey, "lord" could have fit in that song!! Oh well, too late...

And so, we embark on the magical ride that is Morhdd's conception. Now I have to admit, I watched this song to see if it would inspire me into writing something. Boy, did it!! This is gold!! I must have heard this song once or twice before, maximum, and it is PRICELESS with the video! Watch, my friends, as Jack and Diane are just DYING for each other!!

 

WOW! I can not cover this song! First of all, it takes a while before anyone can realize that the hands are clapping at the same pace the song is playing. No, really? Check again! Holy moly, Kami's right, they are! Mind blowing! And who ARE those babies and kids?!? Morhdd, is that you?!? At 0:39, there's a "Jack's gonna be AAAAAA" (pause pause) "football staaar" aaaaaaand that's it! You gonna make us feel like we're watching a movie trailer, punk? What!? Then we realize.... This dude is all over the video!! FAKE! TROLL!! LALALALA!! Little jackass! Morhdd at it's finest, isn't it!? "You can hide my face, no one can tell it's the singer's hair! We'll be fine, everyone's got that hair cut these days!".... 2012 bro, bet you didn't expect THAT!!

So anyway, the little boy grew up and got to 14 years-old. What happened then? He got his copy-cat moves. He looks like some big players, but the elite knows he's got it from superiors, he's not inferior, but needs to make it better, yooo, he's a believer:

Alright man, I'm not going to say anything about the fact the beat is a copy-paste from The Police's "Every Breath You Take". This is about a fellow bro losing life, Notorious B.I.G., nothing to laugh about. Morhdd knows the meaning of what it means to be part of a guild like ours. This is proof of it; say what you want, he's one of us now. Although I have to say, that dance at 1:17 and 2:29? Not sure, broooo. But whatever you think of the song, black or white or any other color, you have to admit, that is one Hell of a dedicated song, and this is how I hope TST is bound!

So our little mischievous boy got to 21 years old without going to the police station (for too long) and this is what was playing when he came back (home from a random place):

Hey, we do love women with short hair, don't we?... Ohhh screw it, who am I kidding, we DON'T!! Note this women: WE DO NOT LIKE SHORT HAIR!!!!!! However we say we like it, we'd much prefer it long!!! Seriously!!! JESUS!!! ARRRGGGHH!!!! I don't even know this song!!! Bleh bleh bleh!!!

And there you have it, drunken half-passed-out Kami LIVE with Soundcheck!! Incredible!! Don't feel bad Morhdd, later would have resulted in the same songs, but not as strong comments about it....

This was Kami on Wednesday, March 7th, 3h42 in the morning, logging off for my drunken sleep. Gnight all, and hopefully Ghetto won't force me to do this again!

Stay tuned, as next week we get Ciciz, the one and only, Nargoth's official girlfriend (that's already giving you a lot of unnecessary info) on the most awful stage of all, Soundcheck's!

Cheers!!! *hic*

P.S. Mordhh, do you have ANY idea how intense your name is to type when drunk?!? HUH?!?! ANY?!?!?
I misspelled it all over the place! Had to come back and fix it when Ghetto double-checked... Shame on me...

Noooo waaaaayyy, two weeks in a row? I don't know how to react, this is too much, joy is pouring out of my skin, my teeth vibrate with excitement, my toes are curling in anticipation! What, oh but what in the world, kind of crap will Kami say this week?

You love it, it's here again this week, that's right, the bestestestest column ever to be written by Man (some argue that since I write it, I am closer to God than Man, but I prefer not to rub it in people's face), Soundcheck!

This week, we have another girl under the spotlight. She has been an officer for a while, but then decided Ghetto was too annoying to stay there, so she generously gave her spot away to someone else. She is nice, rather quiet, but we love her nonetheless. Always at the bottom of alphabetically ordered rosters, she definitely is not the last in our heart. Please put your hands together and welcome Zimmi!

Remember people, this song is sung on the rhythm of Happy Birthday to You.

It is your turn, Zimmi,

Your char is so lovely.

Ears are pointy,

Looks are pretty,

And you like to party!

Ouh, I actually made a cute one this time!

So, just a few years ago (oh look, I'm cute again), two people in love were thinking of making their life together. All of us adults know that relationships are rarely always easy; you have ups and downs, highs and lows. But what we all know is that when you find your significant other, and get into a fight with him/her, one of the best feelings there is, is when you forgive each other, and have the love of your life back in your arms again (and then little people like Zimmi are created).

Cute from the beginning, Zimmi was. Those three girls had amazing voices, nice songs, and were incredibly famous, yet sober and very mature about it, like our little Zimmi. I really have nothing to say to belittle that video, it is as it comes, great in its own way.

But then, THEN, she hit 14, and all Hell broke loose! Bring in the hot guys, let her drool on her idols. She was screaming for him, but then again, most girls were at the time, and still are today!

He would have been perfect for Grease, wouldn't he? Mimicking John Travolta to the extreme, leaning on feminine movements and makeup, what a "dude"! So many things to say here... Not sure about the white T-shirt with holes. Funny how we used to think it was cool instead of just too cheap and lazy to go buy a new one. The red eyes at 1:00 made me laugh for a while too, I mean, wow... CG at its best! The concept of the hands through the floor at 1:45 is pretty original though, I like that... and then they go and ruin it all by ripping the T-shirt off him... NOOO! Whyyy! And then they went ahead and showed the face of the dancers at 1:59.... BAD, BAD video-maker!

She soon grew up and was 21 before even she knew it. She still was the cute little Zimmi we know, and as attracted by love as ever. She was dreaming about someone to just give it a shot with, someone that she could live with on a prayer.

Screw weird grease-filled hair styles, those hair styles are wayyyyy better! And is that a VINYL disc I see being waved at 3:50? Awww cute! You can say whatever you want about the song though, they do seem to have a lot of fun doing what they do, and I respect them for that.

So in conclusion? Oh please, Zimmi is just filled with love and hope! She's cute to the core! And that's how we love her! Don't change darling!

That's it for today folks!

Again, I hope you enjoyed, and get ready to read all about Morhdd next week! He's been whining in other columns, so I'll make sure to write something to really whine about! MUAHHAHAH!

Cheers!

What's this? Soundcheck? What the hell is this, I've never heard of it... Is it new? Who writes this? Kami? Eww....

That's what people would like to say, but sadly everyone remembers Soundcheck, the bestest column in the world! That's right, I'm back (at least this week) to bring you the highest quality of pure randomness ever!

To sum things up for people abusing some substances who might not remember what this column is about, it's about me finding out what was the #1 song on the American radio at key points in your life (namely your conception, your 14th and your 21st birthday), and basically summarize your personality from them, because we all know that we can guess who you were by what you most probably weren't listening to on those three dates.

I see you all remember now. Awesome! Let's get started then!

This week, we're having a queen on stage! No less, I promise. She loves to make sure you don't move too much so that we can point and laugh at you in your despair. She is one of the best friends of our lily pad dominatrix, so that should tell you lots. She loves to go around duct-taping people in very embarrassing position, especially Nargoth (hey, didn't bash on him for way too long). Who is it? That's right people, our own Duct-Tape Queen, Revliss!

It is your turn, Revliss,

Don't worry little miss,

Sure you can hiss,

And you can diss,

But you'll still get my kiss.

Ouuuhh, Kami likes Revliss, Kami likes Revliss, yea yea, find other words ending with -iss for fun...

And so our story begins some time ago, when two people in love were whispering love words to each other in bed. The radio was on to give them something to fall back on in case words deserted them. Weird little songs they had in those years, but hey, who are you to judge. I'm Kami, I can judge. They were weird. But so far, oh so bulls-eye. And this one is no exception. The lovebirds had each other, and the radio was their witness:

I watched different versions of that video, and every time, they do that strange move of looking at each other when they say "I get you babe", then look no where, then to each other, then no where... I'm not sure I get it. Plus, I'm sorry for saying so, but I heard this song maybe once or twice before on vinyl discs, and I seriously thought there was one singer... They got the same voice! No? Weeeeird....

Anyway, our little Revvy got older and was soon in her teen years. Fourteen to be exact. She wasn't lonely per say, but she was in her teens, looking for attention. So to get it, she was giving her number to everyone, asking them to call her:

First of all, let me tell you that the first girl that writes her phone number on my forehead is looking for trouble. Seriously. Second, hey, way to go in reusing the same images over and over again, movie-maker! No one noticed! It's nice to see that Rev's addiction to duct-tape probably came from that pink duct-tape couch or that blue duct-tape suit. They sure had no problems matching colors in those years.

She soon got to 21 years old. She received many phone calls by then. She soon realized though, that the one she was most happy with was herself, that there was no one she really couldn't live without, nor with:

I don't know what to say about this song... First of all, the dude making the video clip just doesn't know how many frames there are in one second... The eye sees 72, TV shows you 48, stop motion usually uses 24. This thing must be in like what, 10 frames per second? It gives headaches. And watch out for the guitar swinging around 4m20, don't get hit!

So what have we got here? Poor Revliss was looking for attention, but then turned it away. She did find her long-term love though... in duct-tape! You better watch out for yourselves if you don't want to get stuck to a ceiling somewhere in AA's dungeon! (Me included!)

That's it for this week, folks, I hope you enjoyed.

Stay tuned, as next week (-ish) we'll receive in our studio none else than our beloved Zimmi! We're on a girl streak it seems. Nothing wrong with that, I just need to keep what I say in check (not because they are easier to hurt, but because they're scarier to deal with...)

Cheers!

Gather 'round my friends, as this week's Soundcheck is now live on Scumbase!

Today, we are departing in the same years we left Iola in two weeks ago. Again, we are blessed to look at the music life of an officer. He has the enormous responsibility to attack other guilds on our behalf. Every 24 hours, he represents The Severed Tongue by the choice he makes. In other words, he clicks the attack button, and therefore is indirectly responsible for Ghetto's anger over people not checking in. Never saw it that way, huh? Me neither, I just came up with it, but I plugged the 'Check in' message, mission accomplished!

Back to business.

Everyone, please applaud this week's contestant, Redwood18!

It is your turn, Redwood,

Songs are actually good.

I know you would

Brag if you could,

But not in our hood!

Yes? No? I don't know, that sound was hard...

And so, not too long ago, two adults in love were talking philosophy*. Among all the very intelligent and thoughtful stuff they said, came what I like to call the 'philosophical annoyances'. Those are catch phrases that adults like to bombard you with when you're a kid. 'Don't do others what you don't want them to do to you', 'All big things are made of small things', 'Be smart in your idiocy', 'The height and strength of a person is measured from the scalp to the top of their eyebrows', 'Don't put all your eggs in the same basket', and more. As a kid, you understand the words and can even sometimes tell when to use them, but you don't actually understand the deep meaning of it until later in life.

One philosophical annoyance that came out was 'Don't judge a book by its cover'. Discussing the subject, they asked different questions. Can you judge a food by its taste? Can you judge a coin's value by the metal in which its made? Can you judge a man's queerness by his voice? Luckily, they could answer that last one with the song that played as #1 on the radio that night.

I can't even understand the words they're yelping. I know fashion and styles and all that changed since those years, but wow! Girls, input? Let's do this: to all girls willing to, in the comments, answer the following: you have to marry one, spend one hot night with another, and hit the third one in the face with a baseball bat. Who goes with which?

What a start for our friend Redwood, that one is going to be hard to top!

Our little friend grew up and was soon 14. He might be clicking the little sword on Shakes&Fidget, but deep down, he grew up to be a romantic. That's right people, Redwood is a romantic, and he is with style. No cheesy crap, just true feelings. He might have been influenced by the actually very beautiful and meaningful song that was playing on his birthday.

I would love to say something funny or put down that song and video, but I can't. That video is actually very well done. Who are those people, actors? The stuff they do and how they look, they look truly happy. Doesn't feel acted. The words are beautiful. I personally think that song rocked and I'm not blasting it. I could demolish the Bee Gee one for weeks though!

Our romantic teenager reached adulthood. He was 21, and he knew how to party. Romantic doesn't mean weak and absolutely not boring. Year-wise, winter is coming, but in Redwood's mind, it's summer, the air is sticky, the temperature is burning; the girls are hot and we're having a good time!

He's no where near Quilp on this, but our little Reddy is smooth, too. And slightly wild; all music videos happen outside, in the street. He's a romantic bum, you definitely can't judge him by his cover. My, my, ladies, doesn't he seem ideal?

That's it for this week people! I hope you enjoyed.
Next week, we were supposed to have Koshka, but sadly he is not with us anymore. It would have been different though, as our little friend wasn't even 21 yet. ZOMG, the stuff we said in guild chat! Shame on us! His poor virgin ears!

So we skip our departed and go to the next on the list, which is our favorite Queen of Duct Tape; Revliss! You think you can tape us around and put us in embarrassing situations, take a picture, and post it on Scumbase without anyone saying anything about it? Well, you're right! It just happens it's your turn next week.

Cheers!

* This column is the work of fiction. I am not sure that's what Redwood's parents were actually doing before, you know, ....

So we got no soundcheck this week eh? I just received an email from Kami explaining me why. He is drunk and… ehm… wait… no that wasn’t it. Oh right,  he set the house on fire and got arrested for indecent exposure and…. Ehm… no… no… that wasn’t it either. Oh hell, I’ll just quote the mail itself, that will be a lot easier.

Basically, I have no internet at my house. Why ? No electricity. Been having a power shortage for over 24 hours. In and out, never sure. We think it's in, then 30 min later it's out. And then vice-versa. I mean wtf, man.... We've been here since 1534. There's a winter every, freaking, year. I think it's time they wake up and tell themselves : "Hey!! Electrical wires are having a hard time when it's snowing and hazing, let's bury them!!" But until then, it's on and off....

They should have fixed it by next Friday. But you might want to write a little something on Scumbase, this is the 3rd time I try and somewhere in the writing process, it fails, so... before I kill my mother's cats to ease my frustration, please write a lil' sumtin... thx!

Cheers
Kami

Consider this to be a lil'sumtin. ;-)

 

Soundcheck!

It is here, it is live, it is grandiose, it is, The Soundcheck !

*sound of a crowd wild with applause and praise*

Yes my little leprechauns, as I mentioned on Tuesday, the Soundchecks are now Fridays, and World Class Scum is temporarily out of the air. (If you have ideas for the column, you go ahead and do it, I'm getting busy, I just don't have time to do both anymore, barely one).

But all that put aside, let's get to the heart of the subject.

This week, we have a she! That's right folks; she's the one that put this awesome Scumbase together, she's the one that writes about webcomics and gets innocent bystanders like me hooked, she's a diplomat with a good heart, she's a HoF puppeteer, my friends I present to you, our beloved geekette, Iola. (Not to be confused with our newly born g34kette; different family of nerds)

It's your turn, Iola,

You pass all criteria;

You can be a

Bun-Bun huntah,

Just don't blame me aftah.
lol, chances are only Iola will get it, but it's her song after all!

So a long time ago, longer than what you would guess with her way of speech (you can take that as you want, but I see it as a compliment... just saying), two lovebirds were saying tender words to each other. I mean, the things you see in chick flicks. They were basically repeating what they were hearing at the radio at that time, words of love and gentleness.

Except it was so not make believe, because nine months later, a little Iola was out in the world. I guess we know what influenced her big heart. Sweet words. I looked up five or six different versions of Conway Twitty and let me tell you, he doesn't move much and doesn't care for video clips.... So I chose this one because he looks like a kind of pogo hopping on its stick and at 1:15, it's like he's fighting a bubble passing through his brain or something, love it.

So our little princess grew older and was soon 14 years old. She was already getting a very good hold of making people believe whatever she wanted, but she did it for the greater good. The world was wrong, it was hurting and people were responsible for it, it was time to fix it and make people believe it was their idea. Basically, she was the master of her own make believes, so she was seeing clearly.

Now I knew that song, but never saw the singer before, and I didn't know the name either. Boy, was I surprised. And what's up at 1:30 ? I can hear clearly now, too! Love the outfit, I'd pay anyone to walk outside with that on. Especially Iola.

But she got older, she got tired of world puppetry. She couldn't do it alone. She was utterly bored. But then she heard this song and got energy boosted half way through (I'm saying that because I want you to listen at least half of it, because it changes then... and leave the gun in the drawer, you'll get through it, come on!)

Sorry about the no playback, but hey, better that than SOPA and PIPA, right?

So Iola decided to settle to controlling the Hall of Fame and making sure everything is under order, everyone is nice to each other, or otherwise tells you in a polite way, a bit like Unohana in Bleach... you gotta know what I'm talking about to get the reference though...

Congratulations Iola in having the hardest Soundcheck to comment E-VER!! They don't move, they don't dance, they just sing like their hearts are going to burst. I'm sorry, I wish it had been better, but videos were rare in those years (no, she's not older than Quilp... that's not possible... If humans were made in God's image, the planet was created in Quilp's image, can't be older than the Earth, don't be insulting!).

Stay tuned, as next week, we'll have the pleasure of going through Redwood's closets. The funniest part is, the years will start off where we leave them here (so basically, Redwood was born pretty much when Iola turned 21, hihihihi)

Hopefully we'll get some action!!

Cheers!

Soundcheck!

Hey all, Kami here, finally, for this week's Soundcheck.

As you may have noticed, I'm getting less and less reliable when it comes to Scumbase columns, and I would like to apologize to my readers, if any, for such a lack of professionalism.

You might be happy, however, to hear that the cause of my laziness is actually not laziness, but actual work, therefore money. In real life. Wow.

This being said, I would like to announce that Soundchecks will now be on Fridays, starting this week (so this Friday). I also decided to put World Class Scum in a cocoon until the day I know what to do with it. The decision was proposed by Ghetto and I appreciate the thought.

With no chef and WCS gone, we have place for additional writers, so people that think they have a great idea for this Scumbase, please send an in-game mail to Iola, which will review it and either make you an official columnist or smite you to death.

I'll see you all on Friday for Iola's Soundcheck. I hope it's going to be a good one!

Cheers!

Here it is, here it is, you impatient lot!

Yop, I've been busy lately, with the holidays and all. Bunch of people you need to see, plenty of things to do.... But I would still like to apologize to today's participants, who were most certainly looking forward to this Soundcheck. I know, I know, I ruined Christmas... That's what happens when we can't read the ultra awesome column that is the Soundcheck. My apologies.

Now, let's get back to business. Today's Soundcheck is a little different than usual. But who is it? Is it a he? No. Then it's a she, sheesh! Nope. Can't be an it, can it? Thankfully not. No my friends, today, it's a they! (Come on, admit I did a good job here with the rhymes...)

That's right, folks! They come in pairs, but are they similar? They look alike physically, but what about mentally? Well, I'm assuming they look alike in real life, I don't actually know for sure... But that's not the point! They have weird screen names, sounds of someone being shot by a laser and sounds of someone trying to speak with a potato in his mouth. Did you guess yet? I hope you did, it's written in my last Soundcheck... Please put your hands together for our beloved twins, Zot and Mhorg!

It's your turn, Mhorg and Zot,
I think they're both robots.

And I think Zot's

Making some plots,

To try and steal my pot(s).

Now, everyone knows that twins are just plain hard to raise. If you put aside the fact that at least they have each other to play with, you also need to think "double" for everything. Two sets of clothes, two baby beds, double your size, double the food, double the diapers, double the crying, double the pain of delivering, double everything, except the time you have to take care of all that. BUT, that being said, it happens, and some parents find that to be a blessing. Good for them, I say! You might be one of them. Well, there are rumors on how to have twins. How about you start by listening to the same song their parents listened to when... humm... doing rodeo.

Yeehaa, cowboy! I bet Zot got the new roller-skates and Mhorg got the brand new key. But a key to where? There are speculations. Some say a ranch somewhere, some say a secret trap full of mushrooms under our own bar. We'll never know, quiet as they are in guild chat, but you can look around. Meanwhile, can somebody tell me who the hell is Melanie?! Are the notes she's singing even legal? Zot, Mhorg, I'm sorry, but your parents might have been wearing cowboy hats and boots that night...

Our favorite twins grew older and were soon teenagers. They knew they were born under the constellation of the bull and the lasso, but slowly changed their ways. They tried to be more, you know... ladies' men. So they started listening to stuff that made the girls go all giddy, giggly, eeeee, like this:

Who does a music video of his song showing a cute girl leaving her date 'cause a policeman decided to test how drunk he was (with no proof he actually intended to drive) and going to YOUR OWN SHOW! How to cut in video costs? Take half your live show and only film a minute of a girl drooling while looking at your black and white picture, entering your show, falling in love enough to have the impression everyone else disappeared, before storming out of the room for no reason what-so-ever. In the two minutes she was there, a snowstorm was unleashed, but most of all, the emergency exit was locked!! Kids, don't do that at home, keep them open.... it's a tad safer, and if the person you love runs outside, well you can catch up...

Zotty and Mhorgy are now adults. They are 21, and ready to party! They had they highs and lows in their teenage years. They were happy and sad, had good and bad times, got in fights, forgave each other. Twins live more with each other than most couples married for over 20 years. And when things go all wrong and you're at the end of your line, you know there's only one person you can count on. 'Cause you know he'll be there :

You can make all the jokes you want about me comparing a girl and a guy singing to the feelings twins have for each other, but I'm sure Mhorg and Zot know what it means. Also, you can say whatever you want about Mariah Carrey, she's HOT! And she sang with Michael Jackson. So yea...

But all in all, WOW guys, this Soundcheck must be like a slap in the face. I even thought about changing one of these, but then it wouldn't be a real Soundcheck, would it. I'm sorry if the songs aren't... humm... <insert the adjective you would have wanted your songs to be here>. I just had no idea what kind of jokes I could make with these.... But hey! Look at that young Mariah Carrey and smile, she's eye candy.

This is it for today folks.

Stay tuned, as next week, we'll dive into the music that shaped the life of our own Scumbase admin, Iola! Now, you have to know that she was more than reluctant in giving me her birthday (you know, age, women and their never-ending war), so I'll make sure to hit HARD!! MUAHAHHAHAHHAH!!!

See you all next week!

Cheers!

Soundcheck!

Hey hey hey all !

Few things before we start. First, let me half apologize for the World Class Scum last Friday. What World Class Scum you ask ? Exactly.

So no, I didn't forget and wasn't too busy. I would have written something. No, my eBlogger went nuts! I couldn't compose anything, it was plain weird. I told Iola, but luckily for all of us, it came back to normal. Heh, I tend to do that to computers. Like, making them not work properly. Long lasting curse.

Secondly! I would like to introduce my new extra super incredibly awesome idea that will blow your mind out of your nose, which will be implemented to Soundcheck. That is called : Kami has laughed about others and got away with it for way to long, and it is time to laugh a bit about him. Luckily for me, everything is perfectly under control, as I will be the one making fun of myself. Starting today, you will all have your own intro song on Soundcheck!

That's right folks, I wanted to work even more... But I think it's going to be a funny addition. You tell me. All the intro songs are sung to the "Happy birthday to you" notes. People that have their Soundcheck already done will soon be able to go back and see the edited version with the song. Soon is not now by the way.

SO, all that crazy stuff said, let's get started !

This week, we receive the member with the most nicknames on our set. He is known for not having a single guild member call him by his screen name, and renowned for all the crap he says in guild chat. He was the center of attention for a while when he secretly dated one of the cute chicks of TST (but I'm Mr. Data, no secrets for me, I know AAALLLL !!), but he finally came out to officially announce he was dating Ciciz. We still wonder how she puts up with him... Put you hands together for Nargoth, more commonly known as, Narc, Narg, Nargi, Nargipoo, Nargipoofufusquishybrainssquarebottom or just The Goth.

It's your turn Nargipoo,
You will get it good too.

Even if you
Beg me not to,
I'll paint you as a foo'.

That's where you can laugh, `cause inspiration like this ? Jeez....

Once upon a time, Narg was still only in thoughts *shiver*  and two lovebirds were trying to make that thought happen. They meant well, really. How could they have known ? Nevertheless, it happened. Legends say the sky turned as orange as lava. It was raining fire, four horsemen went through town, and animal sacrifices were made somewhere else in the world. In the shut room, however, this is what was playing :

>

That's right folks, she defused the archdemon's anger! It's a smooth song even evil can't resist. The only problem is, he still retained "Killing softly with his words", which first of all is a wicked way of putting words of this song together, and explains why he's such a snake-tongue. True story, now you know!

So our little Nargi Van Goth kept growing and was soon a teenager, tall of his 14 years. He was a retorting  brat, maybe a bit too much for his own good. Soon, he had some kind of priest following him around, probably to exorcise the crap out of him. Narg had to do something ! He decided to play his best card: deception. So he changed his appearance, putting crosses around and even making a music video to fool the celestial authorities:

People say I don't know what I'm talking about, that Nargipoo couldn't have looked like that at 14 years old. Well you're right. But... demon ? Hellooo. All in all, he did confuse everyone, but that's probably just because he's confusing. The earrings are a great touch, no doubt Ciciz loves them. All that said, you can still feel Narc's influence in the lyrics (music influences you, but who said you couldn't go the other way?).

After a little while, our evil guild member got to 21 years old. As most of you know, demons are fallen angels (baaaad angels). Needless to say, angels cannot drink alcohol (see Dogma if you don't believe me). So what happened? We had a pissed off Nargipoo on the streets! Bling bling, yooo, here comes the big bad demon:

Everything happened like in the video. The first thing he thought was to destroy all the alcohol (he lives in Holland, I mean, good luck dude...), so he asked the way to the closest liquor store to the first guy he crossed, but again, Holland, so the reply he got was like... 0:44. He found a nice girl to show him where it was but the previous dude called the cops and they sent a big ass dude to pick Narc up (0:50, not messing with threat to alcohol in Holland). To get out of jail, he had to prove he was rehabilitated, so he was forced to watch a half-naked girl do sensual stuff with dripping water (1:06) and burn money (1:10) with a straight face. 

Needless to say, he wasn't able to do it, so they had to send the army with their big CAT boots. Hope you paid attention, they were wearing CAT boots (1:23). After some tests, they decided that the best way to rehabilitate him was to send him back in the city. He took the train with his best buddy that is mostly there for decoration (1:34) so that he could go walk in the eerie alleys with some unknown kids (1:43) that laughed at him behind his back (1:45). Then, it was the turn of the elderly (1:51). You know, rehabilitation.

But he was planning something. He was gaining information on the crappy police officer that put him in to start with. He found him too, eating some kind of doughnut. Got it on tape (2:02), paid for it (2:19), saw some mute girl scream over the scene (2:29), "asked directions" to a girl while running away (2:41), got cheered by some random construction workers (2:57), saw a dog somewhere (3:17), forgot about it (3:18-3:46), saw it again walking on a mat (3:47), put his head in a hole made through some plastic panel for the kick of it (4:02) before calling it a day.

That, my friends, is a day in the life of Nargipoo.

And now, you know !

I hope you enjoyed this amazingly long Soundcheck. I had fun with the last song, no doubt on that.

Stay tuned, as next week, we have a double entry : Zot and Mhorg! For those of you that guessed, congratulations. For those of you still not getting it: they're twins!
Now let me see how I can turn that info to my advantage next week... muahahah...

Soundcheck!

What - is -up - pipples ?

Kami here for another great adventure into the life of a Scum, explaining their deficiencies by blaming the music that influenced them through the years (and even before they were born). And boy oh boy am I excited this week.

As you might or might not know, I write this breath-taking column as I go. For example, as of now, the only thing I know is who I'm covering this week. I have no clue what the songs are going to be, I just throw random stories on paper, flame the video a way or another, and that's pretty much it (hence the Master of Segue title bestowed upon me by Iola). And this week, I'm jumping into completely unknown territory.

Indeed folks. When dinosaurs roamed the Earth and man just discovered fire, another being was dwelling in the largest shadows. His size earned him the King of the Jungle title. T-Rex's would bow to him. He was the inspiration for the wheel, he was a model for hot air balloons, he was used as a demonstration when they proved the Earth was round and he has his own gravity. He laughs more about himself than he laughs about other people. He's an accomplished Scum, everyone loves him; ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, His Roundness, Quilp!

It is your turn Qu-ilp,

You don't smell like tulips,

Try not to nip,

On your own lip,

'Cause it hurts like a 'beep'.

This song was incorporated to fit the Soundcheck of Dec. 20th, 2011.

When most of our scum friends' parents were "doing it like they do on the discovery channel", they usual have some ambient music. Rare are those that used CD's, few are those that used cassettes, many are those that used the radio. But unique is Quilp's parents, who paid a group of guys 2 wild cows (I mean, cows must have been wild at some point, right? I wonder if their black and white hide worked great for them as camouflage in the forest) for them to play the flute using a mammoth's tusk and drums with turtle shells. This is what they played :

Well, she's right. Manana is soon enough for me too. The pleasure of procrastinating at its best. You know the story of the starving man found by a fisherman, right? Don't give a starving man fish, teach him how to fish. Well, Quilp would be more like: "You got fish right there, let's eat. You can teach me how to fish tomorrow." And all is good that way.

His Roundness grew up and soon had to attend school. You know... your grand-ma had to walk 15 miles in snowstorms, so Quilp must have had to walk until the climate changed. That period of time is when his roundness started affecting his personality. When you think round, you think smooth. Quilp became smoother and smoother, and so was the music he listened. He didn't get lazy, he didn't get slow, and he definitely couldn't have a flat personality, so this is what he was listening to (which I fail to categorize) :

Yes, that's how special Quilp the Round is. Him and his vinyl discs that have two songs on each side. Great song, very... trippy. I'm honestly at a loss of words on this one, so let's move on...

Our dear friend kept aging, as all of us do, and was soon 21. He could have gone drinking with all his buddies at the local saloon, but he had his mind on something else. Heck, he'd seen the advent of alcohol on this planet, he could wait a bit more. No, he was in love, guys! He was already so smooth with ladies, what he needed was romance. Less trippin', more lovin'.

He's now smooth, and romantic. He's been rolling his way since, happy and trippy, doing stuff he has to do but not too much on the same day, with romance has a middle name. But if you think this last song made him weaker, well take your best shot at backstabbing him before he stumps you flat with his pinky!

That's it folks, I hope you enjoyed this week's Soundcheck! Stay tuned, as next week we receive Nargipoo on stage! Will the songs that have influenced him be as good as what he's been posting in his column so far? (The debatable word here is "good"). Let's find out next week!

Cheers!

Soundcheck!

Howdy-oh peoples!

Kami here for another great adventure through the life of one of our dear guild members! And where will you be able to read all about it? That's right, here on the Scumbase, the most seen and loved blog of any Shakes & Fidget guild out there. We love it, and we keep coming back, for what? Yes! Soundcheck! (Beat around the bush on this one, but it always comes back to this.)

This week, we have one of our strongest members to dissec... eurh.. discover. He was long thought to be a copy-paste of myself, for he does seem to have pretty much the same background. He lives in Japan, so enjoys weird stuff as much as I do. He's hyperactive in chat (that's a good thing btw) and proudly on the first page of the roster, he types in 1337-mode 'cause names in 1337 are so much ¢00113®, you know who I'm talking about, put your hands together for r34lg33k!

It is your turn, r34lg33k,

You will get it this week.

You take a leak,

He takes a peek,

Let's just say he's a freak.
This song was incorporated to fit with the Soundcheck of Dec. 20th, 2011.

Everything started not that long ago in a room where two adults in love where giggidy-ing it up (hard to say out loud, huh?) and felt a little music would be good. What luck! I Just Want To Be Your Everything! Can you beat that title on such an important night? But, because there's always a but, but said-I, how would this song affect the little being forming? You tell me :

I have to lift my hat to the prowess displayed here: singing coherently with 90% of your mouth consisting of teeth, which seem made of polished ivory or something, is a feat in itself. To this day, r34l reacts strangely to squeaking people and squirrels. That guy up there probably gave the idea of the Chipmunks, which g33k would love to deal with armed with a shotgun!

Sadly, he grew up and never had the chance. He was too busy with his oh-so-important and busy teenager life. He stumbled upon a song that taught him something very important in life. It's a lesson for all you single people out there, it helped him a lot. Here, let's listen to it :

What did he learn you say? Well besides the obvious that snow sometimes falls in June and that the sun turns around the moon, he learned that if you sing a story instead of just telling it, you keep a girl's attention for much longer! Really useful! You take 5 minutes to tell a 15-seconds story! You're totally in after 5 minutes. That, and it confirmed his deep belief that indeed, you keep the best for last, so the red M&M go last.

He soon turned 21 and decided to try going out in a club. I mean, legally. With the pride of showing your ID and thinking "in your face, fat guy" when the bouncer checks your age. He got the idea while watching the video clip of his new hit:

Like the girl in the video, his experience wasn't too great. He tried to have little fairies leave his head or escape into the matrix, again like in the video, but failed to do that too. That's when our sad but still believing r34l took his bags and went to the other end of the world, where he's comfortable and where people are too polite to turn away from his stories, so he doesn't have to sing them.

And that's it for today peoples! I hope you enjoyed this week's Soundcheck! It's always a pleasure to write them, and I hope I won't run out of ideas anytime soon, and especially not for next week as we look around Quilp's closet for old CD's... what am I saying... vinyl discs.

Not to be missed!

Cheers!

Soundcheck!

Oh, my God! Is it? Is it Tuesday?

You run to the computer, click on the Scumbase tab that is always open on your browser (right?!?) or click on the link in your favorites (at the very least) and come face to face with, zomgz!!1!, the most bestest of the awesomest column in za world, Soundcheck! (I like plugging that in, noticed yet?)

This week, we have a special guest with us. He comes from the far-away land of the Gobbos. He has a way to make some sense when speaking with what we think is half a tongue, and writes with probably only two fingers, one on each hand. He takes mud baths (little creepy crawlers included) and avoid the rain in fear of getting too clean and lose all his credibility. That's right friends, you guessed it, Alyxyn is under the spotlight this week!

Quite a little while ago, two goblins were "performing" to have a baby. Goblins from Gobboland have this way of... well, I won't go into details, but music is usually a good idea, not for the two occupied goblins but for the others walking around and accidentally hearing the thing. Putting the volume to the max, this is what played :

Subconsciously, the two love birds wanted to name the baby Sloopy, but opted for Alyxyn. These days, considering what he does in the bilge, I wonder if Sloopy wouldn't have been appropriate. Well, as they say, the job is hard Alyx, but hang it there. Seeing the video, Alyx isn't the only thing "hanging", if you know what I mean (those crazy 60's), but at least I like how they saw the Baby Love video and decided that instead of paying 30 crappy dancers, they'd pay a single good one with LOOOOTTTSSS of place for her to semi-dance.

Anyway, goblins age really fast. They usually turn 14 when we turn about 6. Then it slows down around 60 and they stay hanging between 80 and 90 for over 30 years, to make sure they are as ugly as possible for as long as possible. Their anatomy, nothing we can do about it. But yea, suddenly, Alyxyn was 14 and a very influencial goblin, listening to :

Well, the #1 song was the live show in Glasgow, in '79. That means I don't have a video to flame, and, well... it's a pretty decent song too so DAMN YOU Alyxyn, and hat's off on your luck. But what he doesn't tell us is that he still can't sleep at night without his own Robo and delicate tuning (listen to the very end).

Then, our little friend turned 21 and could go out in bars and drink his goblin butt off. So he took the opportunity to go to Europe. He went into a hot bar and that's where time stopped and he was all alone with a beauty shining on the dancefloor. Then, the song that will mark his first legal use of liquid courage was live, the girl looking sensually in his direction and seeming to move for him :

He was soon ready to make his move, when he realized the hot girl wasn't looking at him, but at the guy behind him. That guy went over and sweeped the girl away. Alyx will later know that that was Ciciz and Nargoth. And now you know why he can't take his eyes off of Ciciz. Oh and that song's video is also why his choice of colors are always so wrong... and why he dances in clothes shops when he tries the unmatching stuff on. Like ghost shoes... (3:45)

Well, my little gobbo friend, you have a somewhat decent playlist. Nothing major, but nothing toooo lame either. Hehe.

Next week, we'll be delving into the life of one of our top players, r34lg33k!
To all of you wondering what's going on in his little dragonfly-filled head, stay tuned next week as we might make some sense out of it.

Cheers!

(P.S. That last song, I Wanna Dance With Somebody, has been #1 a while here in Quebec recently once the song was remade, revamped and made bilingual. Not sure about it's popularity in other parts of Canada, but here you are, if you want to listen to the new Quebec version :)

Soundcheck !

Heya heya heya!! Kami here for another exciting Soundcheck, the cream of the cream on this Scumbase! You've been shocked, you've been surprised, but above all else, you've been disappointed and that's a sign I'm doing a good job!

I would like to slip in a little apology for I completely forgot about World Class Scum this week... That's two weeks in a row if I'm not mistaken, so I'm currently training my butt for the incoming Ghetto-Kick. But this is no place to talk about other columns! Let's introduce this week's contestant:

*drum roll*
He's smaller than most, still stronger than me. He's always last on alphabetically ordered name lists, but that doesn't stop him. He's quiet most of the time in guild chat, but he's checked-in when it counts! (Ain't I awesome? Plugging a check-in message in here and even writing a parenthesis that points it out! Subtle!)

Give a good round of applause for Ziglabeu!

His story begins a little while ago, not that long ago actually. Well, longer than me, but let's not rub his face in it, shall we? In a certain place, on a certain day, two adorable people are in love and about to get it on, baby! His soon-to-be father opened the radio on what would be, forever, Ziggy's main personality:

That's right people, he's a love machine. Love is pouring out of his pores, rainbows are shooting out of his eyes, birds are following him on the street and he speaks with the same voice as the singer on the left. Hellah Sexah, Babah!

Zig grew taller in his teenage years, with all the acne, the new smells, hair and awkward conversions with the parents that his age brought upon him. It isn't easy to be a love machine. But it turns out you attract a bunch of people, and that's how Ziglabeu met a friend of us from Zenith. That friend actually made Zig a nice little lullaby, probably a result of love overflowing out of our love machine. Here's what came out of it:

Who knew StevieeeeeB had the guts to produce something like that? Not only are we learning so much about our.. um... very manly Ziglabeu, we also get to know who's fault it is! Aren't we glad we have this column!

All that being said, the real deal is always the Booze Song. The #1 hit on the radio on your way to the bar, the convenience store, the liquor store, the grocery store, the supermarket or straight to the brewery. This is the song he first got drunk on (at least legally):

Nothing else to be expected from our Love Machine. He probably has a heart the size of the moon. Zig might be afraid of electric guitars and is allergic to fast tempos. And what's his real relationship with StevieeeeeB, we will never know, but it looks sweet. Lucky him!

Well, that's all for this week, folks. I hope you enjoyed, and I hope, as much as you do, that we'll get some bigger hits next time! Or at least something that normal people can dance on...

Stay tuned, as next week, we'll be poking around our favorite gobbo-speaking Alyxyn! Not to be missed for anything in the world!

Cheers

It's this time of the week, when all of you gather around ZE column that will go down in history! You like the music, you love the video clips, and you learn so much about people. Yes, my friends, here is another Soundcheck.

This week, we take a look at our own pizza boy, Pizzar! Boy oh boy, aren't we excited! Let's get started!

You all know our little Pizza is an awesome guy. He's been rather quiet lately, but I'm sure he has his reasons. But let's see, what could you say about him? How would you describe Pizzy in a single word? I'm sure you all came with a word in mind by now. No need to put them in the comments, we don't want our friend to take it the wrong way like a certain someone did on the forums. (We're gonna burn through this joke soon guys, no worries. :P)

But you probably didn't come up with the word that would best suit Pizzar. Let's see what his parents were listening to while they were playing Bees and Flowers (fun game by the way) :

That's right people!! Of all things, Pizzy is funky! I know you're all making "aaahhhhh yeah yeah", "so true" and "tsk, I should have come up with that, that's so Pizzar!" comments right now.

And watch out for the light shows in that video! I don't even need to tell you when they are, you'll know without a doubt. Don't crash on the floor shaking! Oh... should I have written this up there? Oh well...

So our little Funky Baby soon became a teenager. Although a funky teenager. When he turned 14, his life was pretty calm. He wasn't looking for trouble or causing problems. This is what was playing on the radio, and he learned a lot from the video of this song.

That day, he learned that doing violent acts is ok, as long as you do it in slow motion. You can then also walk on broken glass, puncture yourself with needles and play Bees and Flowers with the TV. Well that last part wasn't so bad, now, was it... But back to Pizzar!

He grew taller and got bigger, and soon was 21 years-old Pizza. He was still funky, but sadly, the world around him wasn't anymore, and he was forced to suppress his funkiness in front of his friends. While in the car, heading to the convenience store for some booze, this is what was playing :

Blame the years! What are they saying in this? Bling bling women likes to have money and gifts, gimme gimme, no, then no booty booty. We all know our Pizz better than that. Number 1 hits past 2000 are... insert your own opinion here .

So all in all, I think our favorite Pizza got everything he needs in his funkiness, that's how we like him. We should work on a new #1 hit song called FunkyScum.

"Don't you take me to, Severed Toooongue.
Don't you take me to, FunkyScuuuumm.
Don't you take me to, Severed Tooooongue.
I need my tongue to, sing this sooooong."

A hit forever in my heart!

Cheers all, and come back next week as we go through Ziglabeu's private journal and garbage, looking for his past! Yayyy, garbage!!

Yayyyy!! It's Tuesday! I know you've all been waiting impatiently for this day of the week for the most best column evah! (Yes, "most best" can be said. In my world anyway.)

This week, we cover the life of a smaller scum. If you scroll alllll the way down in the roster, you'll see him, not quite last. He is silent most of the time, a nice little ghost: Good Phantom!

But that doesn't matter, here we talk about music. And we have a different style of music right here! Hint? The first video is in colors, not black and white. That by itself is something. Indeed my friends, Good Phantom is a youngster, but the music of his life is still as good as yours (or even more in some cases). Let us start:

With funky hairstyles, weird clothes and absolutely no sense for a music video, these guys are the ones that first influenced our friend GP, or rather, his parents, while they were enjoying themselves.

There was a lot of shouting, lots of "letting it all out" and lots of teeth showing, because according to this video, that's how they rolled in those years. I just hope Phantom's parents didn't go to the same cloudy, windy, cold, dark, damp and totally unattractive place the singers went to when shooting this...

Nevertheless, our little friend grew and became a teenager. At 14 years-old, this is what was stuck in his head most of the time, for you ladies.

He could have watched this video over and over and over and never get tired of it (neither would I, come on). This is also where Phantom started having attention problems. His mother would ask him: "What's the song about?" and he would reply, his eyes never leaving the screen: "..... what song?" At some point, he simply stopped answering questions, which is why, to this day, he still doesn't answer in the guild chat.

Then, it was time to become an adult and get drunk like any responsible kid does when he hits 21. He was into it, you know! With his friends all packed in the car, they turned on the radio on their way to the bar. At first, when hearing the song, they all looked at each other, not knowing how to react. Good Phantom was the first to start singing along, knowing all the lyrics, and his friends joined in the marvelous hit that marked the end of his 21st year of life. "THAT's a girlfriend", he thought.

And they were all jamming and dancing and trashing in the car !! YEAH YEAH ZOMG SO 1337!!1! (By the way, she's mean, she hits people with golf balls and bully girls out of the bathroom, she's evil... she even writes in the mirror with her lipstick! Tsk tsk!)

And there you have it, Good Phantom's life in music. He's still looking for that aggressive and punk style girlfriend that was so alluring in the past. That's why he's got tickets for Avril Lavigne's concerts for the next 5 years.

And that is another great Soundcheck coming to an end.

I hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you next week when we dive into Pizzar's life! Don't miss it!!

Cheers!

Hey there people !

I'm sure some of you thought I had forgotten all about this column, huh ? Well no, I'm just slightly tardy, because I hung out with some new people today. But no one will say anything about it because this column is sooo awesome. So freaking awesome that you'd give up a whole night of intense love-making just to read it. Right ? Right.

This week, our special guest is our good friend Woopydoo ! Well, woopydoo about that !

So a long, long, loooooonnnnggg time ago, two innocent being were thinking about a kid, a kid that would become perfect, with a high education, a great personality and a sense for generosity. He would be handsome, fearless and quite the charmer. With that in mind, they got to business, without forgetting to turn on the radio...

Great song ! There was some major Baby Love in the air ! But then, something must have gone wrong, because looking at my description of Woopydoo and the real one, something's amiss. To be honest, I would blame the dancers in the video for that. Indeed, I invite you to watch the video again and focus on the dancers, especially the dude in the middle at 1:05... That would screw ANYTHING up.... So for anything that goes wrong in life Woopy, you blame that guy !

So our good friend kept growing and growing, and soon was an easily influenced 14 years-old Woop (he gets the ydoo when he turns of age), listening to... like... THIS !

So his male brain, not knowing how to react to that kind of music, only registered the important stuff : bad girls are cool, let's go with that. He chased after many of them, but he wasn't bad enough. Therefore, he decided to get worse and real bad. To help him with that, he used music, yet again.

But little did he know, that the music he was listening to was totally the WRONG kind of music to turn "bad". To top his hard and terrible training in the art of being bad, with the most magnificient bad song ever, he triumphly downed a beer, at 21 years-old, listening to the ultimate in BAAAADD music :

He still longs for Karate Kid to come and save him from Ghetto's oppression. We, too, would love that, but meanwhile, we'll leave that job to AAylia, she's doing ok.

Well folks, it's been fun again this week !
Woopydoo, there you have it, your life in music. Now you know why everything is as it is.

Stay tuned, as next week, we'll have a peek at Good Phantom's totally different music life. Getting closer to today, let me tell you that.
Hihihihi.