Flying Chef!

HOWDY TROOPS!

Ok Ladies & Germs...

First. off, I have to apologize for this post being late. Yes, the great chef was on route to his next destination when he was detained at the airport, but is now in flight. Delays, delays, delays! B ut since I'm writing this column at 33,000 ft, I thought to myself, HEY, this gives me the opportunity to check on our Airline Cuisine!

So, here we have a lovely flight attendant bringing the great Chef his meal...

I thought "hhhhmmm, great service, with lovely
presentation, and nicely packaged." ......

Then after carefully opening the hot package, this is what was laid before me....

?????????????????????????????????????????

There are question marks here, 'cause frankly, Scum, I don't exactly know what it is. This is what i call a U.F.O.........

Unidentified Fried Object!

This stuff smells like bat barf. I would not feed this even to you Scum! Well, come to think of it, even my dog. But hey Scum, feel privileged that you were thought of before the family pet.  After rejecting this so called "meal," I resorted to something to get my mind off the quivering piece of ... um, er ... eh ... meat ????? before me. Which would be this.....

Ahhh, yes! You gotta love those Canadians!

So as I'm flying to my next destination , I wash my troubled experience away in this bottle of (which I so elegantly deem it) NECTAR OF THE GODS!

However, having celebrity status goes a long way my fellow Scum, as a few of my admirers plan to make it up to me, (if you know what I mean!) ...

So, there you have it, another exciting adventure from the great Chef! I will surprise you next week with another thrilling adventure. In the meantime, I have to get back to my lady friends here, and more importantly ... My bottle of Crown Royal!

And just as the Chef always says ...

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal Lobotomy"