Scumbase

So dere ah wuz still sleepin in mah nest in da bilge when da GBoss' heavy tread thumped down ovah mah head. In his usual soft voice, he bellowed "whar's mah danged Bulletin ya mangy fleabitten cur?" I tried tah 'splain bouts it bein a holidah but ya knows da big guy, he ain't rill fergiffin iz he?

I den stumbled to da head un got summa da printin papah ah uses un here iz da latest EEEEEdition ov da Bulletin.

Dis week our warz haf been haffin sum problems. Da Zombunnies haf been tryinta shed sum honor so's dey kin git some exp by storming our vessel, but da GBoss duzzen't much lahk dat. Aftah some frenzied negoshia.. negotisa.. talks wit utter guilds, it 'pears dat we gots buncha dem 'tackin us zo dat da Zombunnies will haftah look elsewhere iffen dey wantsta lighten dere load. We iz in a similar state wit de Endless but we keeps 'tackin dem. Iffen deys smart, dey will be 'tacking da next lower fer some honor ah put dem closer to us. Den we kin all git back ta da fun ov de wars. Fer summa deh Severed Pwnie Tongues, ahm sure ya kin prolly heah Emanon's rantin bouts 'attack attack attack' but da GBoss un ahr WarBoss' ahr shmarter den dat. Itz a matter of who and when we is 'tackin and 'tacked by dat iz important.

We all did fah better inda dungeon dis week... to widin 18M of finishin da big gloater off. Keep up da good werk pipples. Keep honin yer weapons un swallerin dem potions at da raht time, wez almost dere!

On utter frunts, looks lahk JMardo and Rido have gone a bit rabid and are really trainin hard, haffin gotten 5 new levels each with Woopydoo and Wordplay not far behind. Deyz all lookin mightah buff. Maybe deyz hopin ta replace da Situation on da JShore?

Wit da GBoss' admonitions (hah! dinna think ah hadz it in me didcha?) to min ahr collections, Rizzo seems ta have been hauntin de entry uf da arena and emergin wit lots of new trophies. I do hope he says 'thankya' ta all da pipples he wuz conjurin clothes frum dis week as he expanded his trophy book by 11%. GoodPhantom must have takin pity on summa dem as he straightarmed'm fer 6.5% of his stampbook as well. Nahc Going Scummies!