Ghettoforce stomps about the quiet of the guildhall sullenly, each click of his horned toes echoing through the gloom. Upon his throne he takes up a rumpled piece of paper that is left upon its shredded leather and ducttape seat. Arching an browridge, Ghettoforce smoothes out the paper and peruses it for a moment before shaking his head, crumpling the paper and hurling it over his shoulder and across the room.
Picking up the paper yourselves, you see it covered in viscous green scrawl that you have come to look for. It reads as follows:
"Ahmah writin yer werds tahdah frum da sunny gladez uf da Pwnies pasturez where many ah us ahr vacashuning. Da sky iz bright, da grass iz soft un da pwnies ahr growin. Diz iz a vacashun? sheesh if da light gits enny brahter ahd think dat Iola'd be flashin mah. Still, itz gud tah share ahr wealth o scumminess wit da werld un give back unto summa those dat ah dun liberated lotsah honor frum.
"Lessee.. wot happ'd diz lazt week? Someone slipped a cog on da forums and demonstrated he ain't go no sensa humah at times. Ovah all he'z seems a grate technician but seemed tah think dat ahr ZBoss wuz insultin him. Kin you imagine dat? ZBoss? She effen puts up with megolomanical gobbos!
"we'z pummeled a dungeon soundly, sealing up da door with a sound checkin, fair effort un a lotta Duncan's speshul drinks. Good job efferun! We keepz marchin forwards unto da next one
"As oneah ahr 'responsibilities' as numbah one, we continue contestin wit The Endless to get them tuned up and turned intah nicelah competitive foes. In de ways uf da Comanches, dey be remembered fights fer us intah da futures similar to da struggles we'd had wit da RizenBunnahs. Dis week howevah Gruel earned a new Feat name - "The Ender" by being buried in the bodies of the Endless. So help her git free frum her nastah entombment un back intah da swing, as it were.
"Apparently Ghettoforce haz eithah slackened off in applahn de whip or many pipple jezt got tahred from advancing far and fast. Dis last week we onlah av'ged 1.54 lebels earned. Ahr two top earns dis week wuz Bakryu un WordPlay wit 4 apiece but seven more scum, including da Green Menace, came in with 3 lebels earned. Ahr top Roundness continues to advance, closing in to that stellar 300th lebel slowly by passing his 290th lebel but he'z closelah followed bah several. Eben more impo'tantly though is the beginning scum as dey continue tah advance. 36 of our 50 have broken past 200 and annuder 6 look to be well placed to pass it soon. Keep on werking efferscum!
"In the infighting of the arena, it continues to be nasty with people rising only to take a gouge to the eye and sink down for a bit while they heal and then throw themselves back into the scrum. Still, reinforcements continue to rise. GBrain un da Green Menace continue their rise to 64 and 77 respectively. Even Nargi managed to raise his ranking to 92 (up 15 ranks!). Back deeper in the ranks, Morhdd rose 58 rankings to 271 and Ziglabeu cruized through some detritus to rise 45 ranks to 414.
"Wit our stampbooks, we still gotz two trailers dat ahmah waiting tah see Gboss kick as hard az he kicks me fer bein effen a LITTLE late wit mah werds oh sageness. Howevah 24 members now reside in da comfy confines o de 95% club, enjoyin da silver fez's of goodness un de delights o ahr own VIP lounge. Ah wunderz iffen we needz tah arrange a 'code red' nighttime activity ta git ahr trailin scum up closer.
"All dis said, ah hopez tingz aren't too quiet now back in da scumhovel wahl we'r sittin at de dock. Allah uz vacashuning scum'll be back soon tah liven tings up agin. Un de onlah oneahs uz dat'll sport new pwnie tattoos on dere flanks ahr like tah be ZBoss un IBoss.. but den.. wud ennah uf uz mind dem showin off dere tattoos?"
It's Ziglabeu stupid Goblin !
ReplyDelete( no pun intented ) ;)
Well written as always, my li'l green buddy. :)
ReplyDeleteIt has been a busy week... And I was amazed to see Gruel (our smallest member after all) taking out 6 Endless players. Especially because 4 of those were bigger then her.
ReplyDeletejezt gifin ya da fakts ma'am. doin mah job. dodgin da GBrain Boot too.
ReplyDelete