100 Days

In Japan, it is tradition to take an official portrait of your child on its 100th day and r34lg33k has been kind enough to share Aiko's picture with us.   It's not scummly to squee, so I'll give you a cuteness warning now.

And lest you think that she is too adorable to be scum ... I'll just tell you that Aaylia has been already teaching her to hide ninja stars in those kimono sleeves.  So that's your second warning.

And I'm fairly certain r34lg33k will not provide advance notice if you even swivel your head to look at her in about 14 more years.  

I am chock full of goodwill and heads-up notices today, aren't I?  Consider it to be my good deed of the day.  I shoulda been a girl scout.

And g33k ... squee!!  *sigh*  Soooo cute.

After an unintended three week absence explained by illness, computer hard drive and power supply problems and visitors, in that order .. Flipping Pages is back with a look at a long-standing webcomic.   The Becoming, a gothic steampunk story written by J. Alan Shelton and illustrated by Douang Khamsitthisack,  has run since February 2010 with a somewhat mixed bag of release days. Sometimes three times per week, sometimes two and currently Mondays, there is a lot of back story to get through.

The Becoming is the story of a young orphan named Oscar LeBeau who becomes the ward and apprentice of the woman who made him that way: Jeannine Delacroix, a Disciple of the Church of Bellac. The two find their fates entwined as they weather the political and religious climate of Bellac, ultimately defining the distinct roles they each will come to play in the world’s ultimate salvation – or destruction.

In Chapter one, we are introduced to a number of characters, quite a few who are involved in what appears to be a very corrupt church seizing control of Bellac.  Most of these characters are inter-related in some manner, so you may wish to take notes, since the author provides only a breakout for Chapter One.

We are advised that each chapter of the story can be thought of as akin to a season of television. It may have its own story arc and characters, but will still be drive the story forward. At this point in time, they are still in the midst of Chapter Four, but I see on Douang's Deviant Art page that the cover page for Chapter Six is complete .. so there will be plenty of story to come.

If you like full blown stories of intrigue and mystery, full of well rounded characters, excellent writing and superb art ... give The Becoming a whirl.

ScumFlash: BeanStory

Because we all want to know what has happened to Bean over the past couple of months, and because he can't keep telling it to everybody, he decided to post his words on Scumbase. Well, I'll post them for him, but let me assure you they're his words:

Yes indeed, bEAnS is back! Sorry folks for going off the grid for such a spell and at a moment’s notice, however right around Christmas time we were hit with a Family Emergency with the possibility of losing my Father. My wife and I knew we had to get on the road immediately and drive out here to N. Carolina. My mom isn't well off very well either and needed someone to take care of her in dad's absence. He has always been a great man in my eyes, yet his heavy years of smoking had taken its toll on him. He began coughing up blood in which the first hospital was unable to do much for him so they transported immediately to one of the major North Carolina Trauma Centers which could handle it. That was when the doc said to call the family in. Not good news to ever hear!

After 3 days of continual bleeding and receiving over 19 gallons (Yes...gallons, not pints),of blood transfusions the bleeding finally stopped. He was kept under sedation and pumped slam full of fluids for the next 2 weeks. I spent every day driving from my mom and dad’s home here on the coast to go see him every day which is close to 2 hours drive each way. my mother doesn't handle long rides and had only been able to go see him up there 3 times that entire time. Shortly around into early February he was later moving better and they shipped him closer to home just up the road which only required a 10 minute drive. At this time my mom was able to finally go see him every other day. He began Physical therapy and learned to walk all over again. He was only perhaps a week away from coming home in March when he was hit with a nasty and toxic poisonous bacteria called "C Diff"  (Clostridium difficile) and it took him down with a severe blow.

Anyone who knows enough about white blood cells knows that 4.5K-10K mcL is normal but when the count reaches 30K, it is dangerously high. Dad's count came in Saturday night at 78K, Sunday morning it soared to 110K and his kidneys shut down, liver function has ceased and lungs were collapsing. He was fighting death at that very moment. An emergency collectomy (Colon removal) was performed to rid him of the major source of the bacteria. Again he had cheated death as he lay really weak after a successful surgery. But determined again to get back, dad struggled once again for quite a few weeks to relearn again how to walk, how to move his arms and gain strength in every effort. It this time was a mentally challenging experience that is not for the weak hearted, but his determination is why he is back with us today. it has only been a few weeks now that he has finally been home and doing physical therapy here at the house each day. And even 2 days ago, he was able to finally go for a drive for the first time in his truck by himself.

All I have to say is that when a blow comes to our family, we join together we take care of family! And on a final word, one thing definitely stands true: Any man can be a father, but it takes an incredibly strong, determined and loving man to be a DAD.

As far as being able to get back into the game, I now have a bit of free time each day and decided to jump back to S&F for now. TE was all booked up and I took one look at open guilds and sent a few messages out, thankfully Ghetts fired an invite my way and the rest is all guild chat! It is official, Beanhead III is now officially a true SCUM! And darn glad to be here! I still hold respect to my friends in other guilds and definitely for all my brothers in The Endless...but as scum, we are now coming for ya!

bEAnS

FreshScumFlash: Surprise Guest!

WHAHAHAHAHA!!! We have finally done it! We managed to turn the unturnable. Yes ladies and scum, it took some trickery though. Pretending he had left the game for many many months, but in the end he finally became what he always was… Scum!

Don't look so surprised, everybody knew Beanhead III was a closet scumcase ready to come out. Even Dar knew, deep inside his heart! So welcome to Bean. A level 240, non mounted (he'll have to work on that), Warrior with a scrapbook of  98.24%. He is not a complete idiot (the doctor said pieces are still missing) but he probably hasn't found the toiletkey yet (new game feature Bean).

I'm very glad he joined us. He may not be the biggest warrior out there, but he sure as hell is a great person that will boost chattyness in guildchat (you have been warned). The downside is, with Bean here, we probably will never manage to get an Endlesseer to post a weekly column on the scumbase...

This is also a good spot to welcome back our Dungeonpary from My Little Pwnies. Badness, Iola, Zimmi, Pizzar, R34lg33k and Magnumpower have done their best to help Pwnies to beat some dungeons. In the end the check in wasn't even remotely close to good and they managed only one. But Hey, check out Iola having fun with that War Ogre of War...We'll be back Pwnies!

And last but not least, congratulations to Bain, for being the first one on this server to hit 300.000 honor. Proving that crashing with a helicopter doesn't need to be bad for your Shakes & Fidget career at all!

ScumFlash: Badness #1

And we have a new contender for the #1 spot. Congratulations to Badness!

ScumFlash: Coat of Arms And the Winner is...

And the results are in. In the end there were 34 votes. Notice that I said votes, and not voters... I don't think I ever saw votes change so drasticly and so often. Even the American elections during the Bush years were less weird... At one point Double Daggers was in te lead with a total of 14 votes, in the end it only got 9 and Insanity Shows got 12. Classy Scum managed to come very close too, but got stuck in 3rd place with 8 votes.

Endresult: 

Double Daggers   9 (26%)

Insanity Shows   12 (35%)
Something Fishy   2 (5%)
Classy Scum   8 (23%)
Could be Real   2 (5%)
Something completely Different   1 (2%)

That means that Insanity Shows wins with about 1/3rd of the votes. Not exactly a landslide victory, but sneaky is the way Scum does his magic best. So there we have it. Our new Coat of Arms. (we are totally keeping the ducttape banner though)

Oh and ofcourse shame to the person that voted for something completely different without actually showing the goodies.

Birthday Bashes & More: Woopydoo does a woopy

Lowlives and dear lurking archenemies. We have another one! Yes, Woopydoo did a woopy and can join the select group of scum on the lounge area of the scumbeach.

And you got to admit, he has some classy sunglasses. Good luck with the epic XP valley Woopy. We hope you manage to make the best of this very well planned double XP weekend.

Valley of Awful XP

Condolences to you scum. For you have reached an epic level, but will have to beat many dungeons to get out of this XP Valley.

• 300 - Woopydoo

Nice Round Numbers

Congratulations to you scum, your level looks nice and round.

• 280 – Gregor Clegane
• 260 – AAylia, Keldonhing
• 220 – Kamisama, Scrubby
• 210 – Good Phantom

95% Club

No new members this week. But a big hand for Parrish for gaining 2.29% this week and maxing his scrapbook. Also a pat on the back for Ahkdar for gaining 1.82% this week. Only 18% to go Ahkdar, you gan do it.

Random Data of the Week

Something Important to get you through the week.

• Woopydoo has been climbing the HoF continuously since the day these stats have started on March 19th 2011, with only three exceptions (June 18th, July 9th and October 8th 2011, when he went down 2, 5 and 2 spots respectively).
• Bain had the longest streak of being number one on this server. Even well before we started documenting, or him joining The Severed Tongue. I would put down the actual duration, but your minds would ooze out your ears if i actually did.
• Rido Fatesmiter was only level 161 when he joined the 95% Club of the Scrapbook.
• Kamisama was in the guild for less than two weeks before being promoted to officer for his data gathering skills.
• Tofurkey is the only lowlife that has hold on to his officer spot since Ghettoforce became scumlord.
• We currently have  7  8 members over level 300, more than any other guild on the server (Endless has  6  7, congratz Azkasha).

Babbling Decapitation Contest

I had this great idea of using these pictures to tell a story. The story of awwwwww but I took these pills, all 40 by my math ...

Thinking they would help my brain, and instead I became super pregnant - hatching out enough minions to train, soon to take over the throne (watch out Ghetto, they grow fast!)

Sadly, one of them got hurt, and I spend a long time nursing the little puss back to health. While she recovered, I taught her how to play the game, pushing the buttons and looking excited to flushing things down in the toilet.

My other little chickadee was a hero, a boy that even as a kid rescued girls, even using skates to do it. See what a family I raised?

Sadly my story is about to end. I can hear the mighty warlord yelling from the loo, pissed cause he cannot do his daily duty and flush, or retrieve his prizes....

Soo.. I will leave you with today's picture. Enjoy it and let the captions and meme's appear with great haste!

There was once a lovely young lass

who had such a wonderful ass.

It wasn't round, firm and pink

(I know how you all think) ...

it was hairy and brown and ate grass.

- sbbenhcs, the "oh-so-predictable" poet

Birthday Bashes & More: g33k is insane (duh)

And there we have it scum. I don't think it is a coincidence that g33k is the 7th lowlife to hit level 300. After all, it IS a lucky number in crap AND is the number of deadly sins (I’m just getting informed it is also the number of seas, the number of types of viruses and the number of chakra’s. I’m sure r34lg33k will appreciate the relevance.) ;-)

Condolences r34lg33k. We are glad you are still able to smile wearily.
 

Valley of Awful XP

Condolences to you scum.  For you have reached an epic level, but will have to beat many dungeons to get out of this XP Valley.

• 300 - R34lg33k, Iola, Badness, Dolgan Elfbane
• 275 – Gregor Clegane
• 225 – Venkman (who saved many dungeons, cause he already hit 232), Revliss

Nice Round Numbers

Congratulations to you scum, your level looks nice and round.

• 280 – gloryinchaos
• 270 – Zimmi
• 240 – Ustarach, Ciciz
• 230 – Venkman, Morhdd, Rido Fatesmiter
• 210 – Srike, Crusader Bin

95% Club

No new members here, but Ahkdar finally passed the 75% mark and can truly call himself Scum.  Kossar is really getting close. Only Keldonhing should work a little harder. You can do it Keldon!

Random Data of the Week

Something Important to get you through the week.

• 50 Scum
• 20 Warriors
• 20 Mages
• 10 Scouts
• Average level: 250 (nice)

ScumFlash: Dungeon Push

After weeks and weeks of trial and failure we pushed through 3 dungeons like they weren't even there. Sure we had decent check in, only one missing for every attempt (and luckily not the same one each time), but not unlike we usually have. And sure we were stronger then last week, but not that much. For crying out loud, Quilp hardly had to do anything. As matter of fact, he just stood there grinning during D43...

And you are wondering why I hate the RNG (random number generator in case you are wondering) of this game so much?

Anyway Scum, congratulations. We've finally caught up with the Endless again.

So.... why took it so long before we managed to beat this sad case of untamed beard? Quilp didn't even sweat for this attempt. And he normally does that even when he just breathes...

Not enough armor to protect yourself from Bain's awesome blasts of hot noisy air, Mr Ragorth. Not a mistake he'll make soon again. Blocking only helps you that much, you need to learn to dodge like a boss.

You may be round Slobba the Mudd, but not nearly as round as Da Round One, also known as Quilp.

ScumFlash: Coat of Arms the battle

Ok, I have been waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for Furk to finish his current poll with one of his hilarious roundups before I made this poll, that and the fact I didn't got quite as many submissions as I hoped. But it doesn't seem he is getting around to actually do it. So we'll probably never read his funny remarks about our choice of SciFi movies.

So here we have it. THE ULTIMATE COAT OF ARMS BATTLE!!! YOU, have the deciding voice in this one. The winner will become our new coat of arms for all our archenemies (everybody else) to see every time the click on our guild. No, this hasn't suddenly become a democracy. But sometimes you have to humor the little pipples by giving them a “choice”

Double Daggers

So here is the one we have been using for the past couple of weeks. It has the double wielding daggers we all have been taught about by our founding father Gob Bushsniper. And it has a little black dragon pooping on a skull in front of a blood splatter, and let’s face it. That is what being scum is all about right? (Thank you Iola, for that poetic description of my Coat, Schnebbs would be proud). Hell, it even has ducttape in it… how could this not be a winner?

Insanity shows

And here we have the great coat of arms that Iola send in. you can say lots about it, but the most important part, our insanity and utter… ehr… not being sane shines through all of it. Wich is good, seeing we are quite, ehm… nuts at times. Apart from g33k and Morhdd ofcourse they are totally bonkers.

Something Fishy

Narc has submitted this great work of ehm…platter of seafood. I’m sure Alyxyn will love it as it smells fishy. One wonders what has given him the inspiration for this though. We all know it can’t be Ciciz, cause she is the cleanest barmaid we ever had and doesn’t smell like fish at all. No, no, no, she doesn’t. Well unless Alyxyn has been around, but that doesn’t count does it?

Classy Scum

The next coat of arms is so classy that I had to check the mail twice to be sure it was intended for us to begin with. But then you don’t get much more classy then Lord Neithe. And luckily, it has a small dragon with explosive diarrhea so in the end it is safe enough to assume it is suitable after all.

Could be a Real

The last coat of armor is made by one of our newer lowlifes, Srike. He actually made two, but didn’t got the hang of sending me a screenshot of the second attempt, so it got disqualified. When I saw this one it reminded me of something. Not that I actually seen it before, but is looks so realistic, I wouldn’t be surprised if he plagiarized it and it is secretly from a former eastern European kingdom. (what a scummy thing to do...)

Something completely different

Yes, you can vote for something completely different. But then you have to at least have the guts to post a link to your “completely different” creation, made with the coat creator in guild, in the comments below. But that would take effort, so please be sensible and just vote for the already created Coats, ok?

So there you have it, for the next week you can vote for your favourite (or least non favourite) coat of arms. So...  go vote... now... no seriously... start voting immediately...

Decapitation Contest

Are we ready for a new week and a new contest? These guys are! They are breaking away from their busy Shakes and Fidget game and Spot of eternal VirginityDom to stare upon the pictures I offer, and attempt to beat Kamisama's win of the weeks before.

Can you see Kami, Ghetto, g33k and schnebbs there?? I can! Totally. Ahem.

Anyway.... here are the photos. Pick one.. or all of them. Relate them to the Scumland of The Severed Tongue... if you cannot see these well enough, here is the original link: http://imgur.com/gallery/UoRu8

Various Artists, Volume I

I was driving in my flashy red car without my sweet girl listening to some of my music collection and then it hit me: instead of doing a special on just particular artist I will do a Various Artist one.

So, a couple of songs were buzzing by on my radio when this one came along:


Idlewild - No Emotion


I was going for another song, but there's only crap live versions of it, and this is from the same album, Make Another World. It's the only album I have of these guys, but they sure have a lot of fun!

Another one is a recent discovery. I am not familiar with the original, but this is a very good cover, I have been told:

Triggerfinger - I Follow Rivers


A lovely Belgium cover of an Icelandic singer's song. Beautiful!

This band deserves their own column, but for now this will have to do:

Arcade Fire - Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)


I really love Arcade Fire. I will do them most justice soon.

Then there's another Belgium band that came by on the MP3 player. This is not their most famous songs, far from it I think. But it is wonderful:

dEUS - Dream Sequence No. 1


Just love Tom Barman's voice.

Since Belgium has a lot of impact on this column this week, I will post a recent find of mine, The Me In You:



And since Ciciz has been annoying the heck out of me the last few days with this song, I will share it with my fellow scum bearers, mwoehahahaha!

Bjørn Hellfuck - Krabbeklo


Yes, it's Norwegian. Yes, it is about crab claws. No, I don't have the phone number of the big busted girls in the video.

So, I hope you enjoyed this installment. Now go back to work, you slackers! There's a dungeon out there with our name on it!

Cheers

Nargoth

traditional gnomish poetry tuesday

Snow White has this sister; Rose Red,

who likes to get kinky in bed.

She said, "I wouldn't mind

if you went 'round behind,

and came in the back door instead."

- sbbenhcs, the "Yes, I went there" Troubadour

Somewhere admist the chocolate wrappers, colored eggs and cellophane basket stuffing (that my cats cannot seem to resist eating or grabbing in their mouth and running off down the hall trailing a cloud of pink and green strands) is my best intention to get a Flipping Pages done today since I missed last week.

I thought I'd treat you with some stuff I found on various pages around the interwebz today.  And yes, there is Grade 3 humour in here because we all love a bad, bad joke.

~~~ (\^/) ~~~

Why did the magician have to cancel his show?

He'd just washed his hare and couldn't do a thing with it. 

~~~ (\^/) ~~~

Do you know how bunnies stay in shape?

Hareobics.

~~~ (\^/) ~~~

What did the rabbit say to the carrot?

It's been nice gnawing ya.

~~~ (\^/) ~~~

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rabbit?

An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots!

~~~ (\^/) ~~~

Retards .. we all know one.

How many rabbits does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one if it hops right to it

~~~ (\^/) ~~~

What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter?

Deviled eggs!

~~~ (\^/) ~~~

What did the rabbits do after their wedding?

They went on their bunnymoon!

~~~ (\^/) ~~~

Where do rabbits work?

At IHOP restaurants!

~~~ (\^/) ~~~

Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny?

He got arrested for Battery.

~~~ (\^/) ~~~

Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges?

He’s the Easter Bungee!

~~~ (\^/) ~~~

What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read?

Ones with Hoppy Endings.

~~~ (\^/) ~~~