Scumbase

Da tiny greenie shows up, looking even more green than usual, his face rather drawn and sweaty. Pulling an immense, heavily patched woolen blanket tightly around him, he scratches out some words in a shaky hand. He finally lays his head down on the table next to his paper and fades off into slumber. Shortly after, he begins to emit huge bellows of echoing snores as drool slowly  pools below his cheek.

His words on the paper read:

"Dis lazt week wuz good.. we dun kilt de dunjon und beat ahr way up da ladder ta numbah 1. We'z dun proved we be contendahs!

"Den we sents pipples off tah hep da Zenith folks und dida heckuva job on two dunjons und almost anudder.

"Ovah all, we averaged jezt ovah one level a piece but both Gloryinchaos and Pizzar grabbed three levels each.. good job everahone."

As you read that, a loud snorting, horking cough is emitted. After a moment of groaning and writhing, Alyxyn rolls over onto his side, soaking one ear in his own drool before settling into sleep once more to a slightly softer drone of snoring.

"In de arena us scummies haf been making sum moves. Its too bad dat the fights aint open ta de public as we'z gotz several scummies fighting in the absolute top levels of de gladiators. Bain exemplified da scummie spirit by fighting his way up 13 ranks back to number 2. Dolgan seems intent to join dem ranks too as he struggled up two more levels to 23rd. Go Cookie!

"With our scrapbooks, we are doing nicely. Wit da fall uf da dunjon several pipples got lotsa stamps like me. Between dat un personal fights, we iz proceedin tah fill ahr books. A coupla pipples gots more den 1% of dere books just last week, namely Magnumpower, gloryinchaos and farkentje. But da person dat exceeded more den othahs wuz Nargipoo, Mr. Average Scum hisseff!"

You can see in the ink that the dot of the exclamation mark trails off to the right where Alyxyn's hand still holds the pen, ink slowly leaving the pen.

week ending Oct 17, 2011