Hey all !
Here I am, once again (aren't you guys tired of reading the crap I write?) for this week's most awesome and truthful column on this website; Soundcheck ! Again, quickly, the principle is simple : you provide me with your birthday, I extrapolate from it to get the date (approximate in one case) of when your parents conceived you (this case), when you turned 14 and then 21. With the help of a totally 100% accurate website (HA!), I can know what was the #1 hit song on that day in Canada and the USA. And of course, we all know that those three songs mapped out your whole life, so we can have fun making all sorts of assumptions.
But I assure you it is absolutely pin-point, bull's eye accurate, you can ask Ghetto, he'll tell you.
So, we're all on the same page ? Great.
We began this awesome column with Dolgan Elfbane two weeks ago, and Ghettoforce was our lucky contestant last week.
This week, we will be looking into the music that formed our dear, yet recentlysomewhat quiet but still plotting to take over the ghetto, our own lilypad-constrained whip-swinging dungeon-loving kitty-eating belly-dancing bird-watching funny-looking pink-leather-wearing freedom-stealing scary-stuff-saying Mistress AAylia !
So when her reign all began, on a warm and beautiful, yet strangely evil night, two beings in love were about to create what would later be feared and dreaded in the entire world of S&F. To ease the mood, they turn on the radio and here is what they heard :
"Get back!", "Get back!", they said, but no one listened. Thus, our beloved AAylia was now part of this world.
When she turned 14, our mistress was out there, modeling herself to her idols. Funky clothes, weird color schemes, all sorts of stuff in her hair to make sure it stays like it should, puffy and I-just-woke-up looking.
And Jump ! And so she jumped. All day, all night, she jumped and assumed herself as a marginal.
When she turned 21, she climbed in her car to go get some booze. She turned on the radio, and after only a few notes, was singing along to this hit :
So it seems that even AA has a soft side. And she likes basketball players and kids dancing on their teacher's desk. That explains everything.
I hope you guys enjoyed this week's Soundcheck. It was great writing it.
Come back next week, as our great friend Woopydoo gets his turn !
Cheers!
Goddamnit that last song sucks. I take pitty on the foo.. ehr 21 year old that has to listen to that when getting booze
ReplyDeletebeats most of the motley crue years :p
ReplyDeleteAce of base, mc hammer, vanilla ice not to mention backstreet boys & new kids on the block.. could have easily been worse hehe well done!
oh ... I was blocking all of that!
ReplyDeleteOhhh Kami you were so close! I called my mom to ask her what was playing on the radio … you know - WHEN things happened - And She told me "Send in the Clowns" I am pretty sure she was serious. She would never pull my leg.
ReplyDeleteThen I looked at my high school yearbook (and PLEASE you do not wanna know what mistress looked like *shudder*) and there I was at 14, bebopping along to Madonna's "Like a Virgin", Huey Lewis and the News "I want a New Drug", and Sheena Easton "Strut" --- was this something that prepped me for my future????? and by the way there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with the song "Jump" that guy was HOT and his hair was even hotter! Did you see the butt on him??
Kami I cannot WAIT to see your next victim, and I made you a special drink.. its that fizzing silver vial behind the bar. Just toss it back and drink that frothy dark ale beside it!! Perhaps My attentions of assassination should deviate from the mighty warlord, to a certain historian…
Hehe. Well, I told you this is pin-point accurate. ;P
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you like this column, I enjoy writing it ! It fun and funny and I can say random crap on people because we know it's all for a good laugh, it's a great column lol
I have to make sure Woopydoo sees his next week. I'll mail him in-game in a few days to let him know his end is approaching. XD
Oh and I look forward to that fizzing melted iron in a glass ! Looks delicious !
ReplyDeleteI think it is pretty safe to say that your life went downhill fast, right after conception, mistress ;-)
ReplyDelete@ g33k
at least with Ace of base, mc hammer and vanilla ice you can pretend you are alreaady drunk. With the songs from that bimbo from hell all you can think about is what the fastest way to commit suicide ;-)
Oh and i just would like to add, that although in my case soundcheck was completely wrong, it really is spot on for Dolgan and AA.
ReplyDelete