ScumFlash: Happy New Year

WELCOME TO 2012

Birthday Bashes & More

I’m Still looking for someone to take over the weekly Birthday Bashes column. Now, I don’t need all of you, just one would be fine and dandy.

Congratulations on beating D34, after a bad start in the first try with a bad check in. In the retry Quilp looked very round, but also very very bored in the end. So let's beat D35 next week. Collect those potions and CHECK IN!


Birthday Bashes

This week we have two hallmark levels to celebrate. Bakryu reached level 200 (that means that the group 200- only has 8 more scum in it). I think he managed a dungeon or two, because he is already at 201. The second birthday boy is Magnumpower, reaching level 275. He too was probably smart enough to safe some dungeons because he almost reached 278 already. Congratulations to both. Seeing our average level at the moment is 231, it is safe to assume that you still can beat Bakryu, but better be careful with Magnumpower around. Forewarned is forearmed

Remember scum, with level 175, 200, 225, 250, 275 and 300 come deep deep XP valleys for a couple of levels. So you better be smart and safe yourself some dungeons to get you out these as soon as possible.

And we have a group of scum that reached nice round numbers:

240 – Nargoth
230 – Farkentje
220 – Ciciz
210 – Morhdd
190 – Good Phantom

95% Club

No changes here.

traditional gnomish poetry tuesday

My christmas gift, just so you know,
has naught to do with trees or snow.
I don't need presents or that jazz,
all I want is a girl that has
a belt buckle made of mistletoe.

- sbbenhcs, the happy holidaze herald

A song writer, I am not

One thing is sure: I am horrible at making up scummy Xmas songs and pretty much everyone agrees.

Favorite Christmas Song (Scum style)

Dreaming of a White Scumbase	2 (12%)
Joy to the Scumlord!	1 (6%)
Fleas Navidad	4 (25%)
Jingle Balls Rock	1 (6%)
Satan Baby	0 (0%)
Tofurkey, you really suck at this	8 (50%)

Votes so far: 16

However, we also seem to really like songs about Fleas, maybe because so many of us have them.

Howdy troops!

Ok, ladies and germs, it is a sad day in scumville! Yes, the guild has to start taking in applications for a new chef, as this old man is retiring. It has been an absolute blast, yup, a very fun ride indeed. But now the game is no longer a game, but a chore, so it’s time to fold and put away the chef’s hat! Don't worry about your most favorite chef ever with Incredible wit, superior intelligence, and quite frankly, DAMN good looks.....

Yup, I'm taking all the nice little ladies i met on my journeys in the chef's column, as they decided to become my concubines, as i already said,(women love a man who can, ahem,....COOK!) We are going to build our tiny little castle, on a beach, or mountaintop, or,... hey! maybe next door to GhettobossforceLord, as I know the departure of his favorite chef may be too much for him to bare. :)

With all of that said, thanks for being the best guild ever, and keep that #1 spot indefinitely! You’re no doubt, the best bunch of peeps i have played with. Thanks to Iola, for giving me the chance to write my Chef's column. To Rev, I ripped up the bill for all the Meat you stole from my cooler, and to AAylia, you always be the queen BRUJAH! And last but not least thanks to Ghetto for taking me in when legacy collapsed, and for putting up with me! you’re the BEST! :)

And just as the Chef always says: Wherever you go, there you ARE!

PS: GBOSS, Enclosed in this letter is a little $$$ to send Alyxyn for some English lessons. Please see that it’s done.

In the quiet of the nearly deserted guildhall, a sudden slam is heard, echoing loudly in the half light. The hatch to the bilge squishes slightly onto the floor as a grungy, mashed red velvet hat pops up followed by flopping green ears and finally Alyxyn's weary, foggy eyes.

Emerging quick and smoothly from there, Alyxyn springs up onto the floor with a huge bag of illicitly gathered holiday bootses. With a bellow of "Merry Grinchmas" followed by a muttered "or other appropreeate greetins", he makes his way to da Gboss' throne to add his latest report to da wall.

On this wrapping paper written report, sparkly glittery ink lights up the room a bit as you read:

"We finully dun got a liddle bittah luck un killed dunjon 33 despite less den a perfect checkin. Dis certainly shows dat it iz possible tah win wit less den everbuddy werking on it but wit each raid it getz harder un harder. Ciciz has apparently been spending a very busy holiday season, increasing her skills by 4 lebels. It goes to show just how driven she is, when Nargipoofufusquishybrainssquarebottom only managed a single lebel. Ah gezzes dat Ciciz dun wore Nargipoo out un had to ... work de edges offa de holidays :) Kami had been commenting how he wuz missin his sweetie un it shows since he dun improved 3 lebels himself."

"Good job one and all however as several peoples have also hit landmarks, but I will leave most of that for others to elaborate on. Howevah, ah recommend dat ya start kippin an eye on His Royal Roundness, da Rollickin Quilp. He is closing in on bein da first 300 lebel Scum, so lets all cheer him on.. and drive him forward even if it is by torch and pitchfork. Goooooo Team Round! Finally, congrats to Gruel on being the last to climb past 175! Let all keep pushing until the lowest rank is 200!

"Arena results continue to be interesting with lots of scum up high. Overall the high ranks are littered with Scum, Endless un some standalones with the ranking ever shifting. Redwood18 and Woopydoo continue to climb but do so slowly at their elevations, making it to 46 and 24 respectfully. Lots of other scum are advancing as well however, like Melange's 19 rank climb to 320 and Valind's 61 ranking climb to 673.

"With our stampbooks, we are still at less than half of our scumminesses being in the 95% club however there are a couple of scum edging up to break that 50% population. Dolgan at 92.71, AAylia at 91.59, Duckytape Queen at 92.82, Bakryu at 91.35, and Rizzo at 90.94. Just a little more concerted effort and it is within your grasp.

"Other than that, We'z looking forward to a bit more nog, ahr ferst effort intah de Dunjon 34 as we keep hitt'n da Raids for a bit longer. "

Having delivered his news, Alyxyn returns to the murky depths of the bilge with his bootses lootses and to care for himself and his.

"Merry Grinchmas to all ... and to all a Good Booting!"

Xmas Greetings

Merry Xmas to all. With special greetings to our friends in:
The Endless, My Lil Pwnies, Zenith, Fathom, Frenzied Fury, Disciple of Beer. And all the other guilds out there.

Scum will be thinking of you.

It's Friday already. It's the day before Christmas Eve. Did you buy all your presents? Did you wrap them, name them, categorize them by color, size or smell? Did you hide the ones for your loved ones in your locked safe and the ones for your fellow co-workers in the snow outside? Well, I didn't yet...

That's right folks, it's Christmas again, for the better or for the worse. Christmas songs (you know, the total of 15 the world has) have been playing in shopping malls, in restaurants, on the radio, in special events, every-freaking-where.

Some people like to celebrate Christmas with their families, some others with friends. Some others, like myself, prefer to reserve a place and go out with the girlfriend alone, making it more like a romantic winter getaway. Some others, still, like to book a flight heading south and run away to countries where the AC is always on and set to 30C. I'm not against that option myself...

But love it, hate it, it comes around every year and our customs dictate that SOMETHING must be done. Well, that's what I'm doing. What have I decided to do? Work, my friends. That's right, I'll be working most of my time, possibly popping my head here and there in parties that aren't too far away. Sad to say, my holiday spirit is drowning in loneliness and that pushes my motivation spirit a bit further to get out of here and back in Japan as soon as possible.

But meanwhile, elsewhere, things are more "Christmas'y".

We serve turkey to good bear friends.

We play hockey naked.

We dig our own pools.

We take sunbaths. (I am not sure which one to be most offended with: Kanada or Canda)

We get our goodnight kisses.

We loooooooove snowmen.

We had this three days ago... (I am not kidding... fuck it's dangerous......)

And we have no idea what that one is about...

And that, my friends, is how you can imagine I will spend the next few days.

I hope you enjoyed.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, to you, your family, your friends and everyone you care about.

My loved one is far, far away, and I am in a poor situation right now, but that doesn't mean the world has to be in my state. I honestly hope that you have a wonderful time, that you get what you wished for, that you wake up on the 25th happy of your 24th, and that everything goes well.

Be careful, watch out for the police blockades (every - freaking - corner - here), and be generally safe guys.

I'll see you all next year !!

Cheers !!

P.S. This is important. I will try to bring you your usual columns, Soundcheck and World Class Scum, but heh, it's the holidays... I'll do my best, good enough? I knew you'd understand, cheers !

Birthday Bashes & More

Seeing Bloodshadow had to step down from doing the Birthday Bashes due to RL stuff, you’ll have to do with me for the time being. Or you could ofcourse volunteer for the job and take over. I know YOU could do a great job!

If I missed anyone, don’t blame me. Tell me about it, and blame Bloodshadow instead ;-)

Birthday Bashes

First of all I want to congratulate Gruel (I hope the move is going ok). He has passed the hallmark point of 175. This means we currently have no scum below the level of 175 anymore. Now that is impressive.

Ofcourse that means the next goal is having no scum under level 200. Thanks to Ziglabeu and Neithe who reached that level this week, we have only 8 of those left too. Congratulations to Zig and Neithe, I hope you’re a good example to those 8 to join you soon.

And lastly we can welcome our silent Masterdodo to the first really severe XP valley at level 225. I hope you saved yourself some dungeons to beat Mastedodo! No worries though, the XP valley at 250 will be even worse... ;-)

And we have a group of scum that reached nice round numbers:

• 280 - Woopydoo
• 270 - Redwood18
• 220 - Wordplay
• 210 - Tofurkey, Melange, Zot, Duncan Greyhawk, Revliss
• 190 - Valind

95% Club

No changes here. But I wonder if we’ll see any changes next week with the beating of D33 and all.

ScumFlash: 3 days of cease fire during Xmas

First of all congratulations on finally beating D33. Even though that endboss blocked more than half of Quilp’s attacks (seriously… warriors have 25% block chance and it blocked over 50%? Cheating bastard!) we finally managed to put it in its rightful place. The losing one. Next week we’re going to see how tough D34 is.

But between now and then there is something called Xmas. And apparently a lot of scum likes to hang out with friends and family for that period. That is why we have decided to not declare attacks starting Saturday 24 December 0.00 PST (aka 9.00 CET) till Monday 26 December 12.00 PST (aka 21.00 CET). During this period we will give ourselves and our archenemies (Hi Dar!) some peace and quiet. We also won’t keep track of activity during this period.

Ofcourse if someone decides to attack us during this time, we will crush them! Because I do hope you do check in every now and then to do your thirst, if you can find the time, and push the defend button if needed. We will start our usual attack pattern again on Tuesday 27 of December 0.00 PST (aka 9.00 CET).

We also received a seasonal greeting from our favourite flavour of bean on behalf of the Endless. Yes, it is a bit squishy, but it comes from a good heart. So pay your respect to our friends in Endless on behalf of the Severed Tongue, and practice your backstabbing on them. Let them know that that warm feeling they feel after hugging scum, isn’t all seasonal warmth... It might be blood oozing down their backs. Anyway, here it is:

"On behalf of our guild, The Endless, I would like to extend our Holiday Greetings to your guild and your wonderful members. Tis the season of happiness, joy & family, presents, giving and sharing, a moment to reflect on the past year and to be thankful for all we have.

The Endless shares their warm wishes to you and your members during this holiday season. Be safe, have a wonderful Christmas, may it be filled with peace, cheerfulness & happiness for the coming year. Remembering special people at Christmas fills our hearts with joy. We all wish you a great holiday season and a bright new year.

With all Best Wishes for a Joyous Season,

Merry Christmas & a very Happy New Year

From our guild to yours!"

The Endless, ...bEAnS

ScumFlash: Zimmi part 2

What is it with this guild and babies all of the sudden… g33k making a mini g33k3tt3 (last week), Narc being a big baby (all the time) and now Zimmi becoming a grandmother. Yes scum, it has finally happened. Premature and tiny, but luckily healthy. Monday at 7.28 Zimmi became grandmother of Autumn. Wait… does that mean Z is Mother Nature?

Mother, daughter, grandmother, granddaughter, daughter and mother are fine. Ehr… or something like that… Congratulations Zimmi and ofcourse even more congratulations to Haley. We're glad it all went well in the end and are awaiting your return to boss us around and smother us again.

Soundcheck!

Hey hey hey all !

Few things before we start. First, let me half apologize for the World Class Scum last Friday. What World Class Scum you ask ? Exactly.

So no, I didn't forget and wasn't too busy. I would have written something. No, my eBlogger went nuts! I couldn't compose anything, it was plain weird. I told Iola, but luckily for all of us, it came back to normal. Heh, I tend to do that to computers. Like, making them not work properly. Long lasting curse.

Secondly! I would like to introduce my new extra super incredibly awesome idea that will blow your mind out of your nose, which will be implemented to Soundcheck. That is called : Kami has laughed about others and got away with it for way to long, and it is time to laugh a bit about him. Luckily for me, everything is perfectly under control, as I will be the one making fun of myself. Starting today, you will all have your own intro song on Soundcheck!

That's right folks, I wanted to work even more... But I think it's going to be a funny addition. You tell me. All the intro songs are sung to the "Happy birthday to you" notes. People that have their Soundcheck already done will soon be able to go back and see the edited version with the song. Soon is not now by the way.

SO, all that crazy stuff said, let's get started !

This week, we receive the member with the most nicknames on our set. He is known for not having a single guild member call him by his screen name, and renowned for all the crap he says in guild chat. He was the center of attention for a while when he secretly dated one of the cute chicks of TST (but I'm Mr. Data, no secrets for me, I know AAALLLL !!), but he finally came out to officially announce he was dating Ciciz. We still wonder how she puts up with him... Put you hands together for Nargoth, more commonly known as, Narc, Narg, Nargi, Nargipoo, Nargipoofufusquishybrainssquarebottom or just The Goth.

It's your turn Nargipoo,
You will get it good too.

Even if you
Beg me not to,
I'll paint you as a foo'.

That's where you can laugh, `cause inspiration like this ? Jeez....

Once upon a time, Narg was still only in thoughts *shiver*  and two lovebirds were trying to make that thought happen. They meant well, really. How could they have known ? Nevertheless, it happened. Legends say the sky turned as orange as lava. It was raining fire, four horsemen went through town, and animal sacrifices were made somewhere else in the world. In the shut room, however, this is what was playing :

>

That's right folks, she defused the archdemon's anger! It's a smooth song even evil can't resist. The only problem is, he still retained "Killing softly with his words", which first of all is a wicked way of putting words of this song together, and explains why he's such a snake-tongue. True story, now you know!

So our little Nargi Van Goth kept growing and was soon a teenager, tall of his 14 years. He was a retorting  brat, maybe a bit too much for his own good. Soon, he had some kind of priest following him around, probably to exorcise the crap out of him. Narg had to do something ! He decided to play his best card: deception. So he changed his appearance, putting crosses around and even making a music video to fool the celestial authorities:

People say I don't know what I'm talking about, that Nargipoo couldn't have looked like that at 14 years old. Well you're right. But... demon ? Hellooo. All in all, he did confuse everyone, but that's probably just because he's confusing. The earrings are a great touch, no doubt Ciciz loves them. All that said, you can still feel Narc's influence in the lyrics (music influences you, but who said you couldn't go the other way?).

After a little while, our evil guild member got to 21 years old. As most of you know, demons are fallen angels (baaaad angels). Needless to say, angels cannot drink alcohol (see Dogma if you don't believe me). So what happened? We had a pissed off Nargipoo on the streets! Bling bling, yooo, here comes the big bad demon:

Everything happened like in the video. The first thing he thought was to destroy all the alcohol (he lives in Holland, I mean, good luck dude...), so he asked the way to the closest liquor store to the first guy he crossed, but again, Holland, so the reply he got was like... 0:44. He found a nice girl to show him where it was but the previous dude called the cops and they sent a big ass dude to pick Narc up (0:50, not messing with threat to alcohol in Holland). To get out of jail, he had to prove he was rehabilitated, so he was forced to watch a half-naked girl do sensual stuff with dripping water (1:06) and burn money (1:10) with a straight face. 

Needless to say, he wasn't able to do it, so they had to send the army with their big CAT boots. Hope you paid attention, they were wearing CAT boots (1:23). After some tests, they decided that the best way to rehabilitate him was to send him back in the city. He took the train with his best buddy that is mostly there for decoration (1:34) so that he could go walk in the eerie alleys with some unknown kids (1:43) that laughed at him behind his back (1:45). Then, it was the turn of the elderly (1:51). You know, rehabilitation.

But he was planning something. He was gaining information on the crappy police officer that put him in to start with. He found him too, eating some kind of doughnut. Got it on tape (2:02), paid for it (2:19), saw some mute girl scream over the scene (2:29), "asked directions" to a girl while running away (2:41), got cheered by some random construction workers (2:57), saw a dog somewhere (3:17), forgot about it (3:18-3:46), saw it again walking on a mat (3:47), put his head in a hole made through some plastic panel for the kick of it (4:02) before calling it a day.

That, my friends, is a day in the life of Nargipoo.

And now, you know !

I hope you enjoyed this amazingly long Soundcheck. I had fun with the last song, no doubt on that.

Stay tuned, as next week, we have a double entry : Zot and Mhorg! For those of you that guessed, congratulations. For those of you still not getting it: they're twins!
Now let me see how I can turn that info to my advantage next week... muahahah...

Scummy Robots

R2D2 (Sorry C3P0)	2 (11%)
Caprica-6	4 (22%)
K-9	1 (5%)
KITT	2 (11%)
Bender	6 (33%)
Marvin	3 (16%)
Roomba	2 (11%)
GLaDOS	2 (11%)
HAL 9000	7 (38%)
Any kind, as long as it fetches beer	4 (22%)

Votes so far: 18

Maybe not surprisingly we like our robots scummy. In particular, we like it when they try and kill us. HAL 9000 was our top vote getter, but Caprica-6 and GLaDOS will also gladly kill/dismember us. Apparently the only thing better then a homicidal robot is one that is also losing his mind. Caprica-6 was only a little behind, so for the rest of scum, if a robot is going to try and kill you it should at least be good looking₁. Fair enough.


Bender comes in second though, and for this I am a little ashamed of my scummy compatriots. I mean, come on! It is a robot that consumes alcohol! If this guy isn't born scum I don't know who is. Even more disturbing is how few votes the robot who BRINGS you alcohol got. I thought that was a sure thing₂ knowing how lazy you scum are AND that I let you vote for more then one. Three people prefer their robots to try and kill themselves, H2G2 style. If you didn't vote for Marvin, you must not have read Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy. I wouldn't admit to that though, as it is a cause of great shame.

One thing is abundantly clear though -- we don't like our robots helpful. Sorry R2D2, K-9, Kitt and Roomba... you just aren't scummy enough for this lot. With a total of only 7 votes, more people would rather be killed by HAL then the lot of you together.



₁ Sorry HAL, that monotone red light just isn't sexy any more.
₂ I ordered two last week so I could have one coming while the other was going.

traditional gnomish poetry tuesday

For ladies who desire to roam

on adventures so far from home,

here's some travel advice

for a voyage quite nice:

save a griffin, and ride a gnome.

-sbbenhcs, the traveling troubadour of tottenham

ScumFlash: S1 and S2 down

In case you are wondering if you are the only one unable to log in on shakes. You are not. It seems both S1 and S2 are down. No official response yet, but apparently it has been down since around Monday 20.00 PST

Update: After more then 6 hours of downtime the server seems to work again.

A tall gentlemen strides into the guildhall, ignoring the various traps, poisoned deadfalls, broken beer steins and passed out guildies. He mostly just ignores the waste, saving his notice for the few individuals still able to blearily focus their eyes to note his form.

Coming up to the throne of the GuildMaster, he salutes GBoss in a way ever so reminescent of a much shorter person before holding out the latest news bulletin, this time put together in carefully phrased Human English on proper report paper in an Engineer's careful penmanship.

"I am sorry GuildMaster but I fear that at current time your little green reporter is somewhat more incoherent than you are accustomed to. Between caring for his wife, who is now out of the hospital but needing close attendance and his own attempts not to spread his own illness, I am keeping him somewhat quarantined at the current time."

"To ensure that you still do receive your news however, I took the opportunity to present some of the information that normally gets collelated for your consumption. It doesn't quite have his flair, but I hope it will meet your needs."

With that, the gentleman hands the paperwork to GhettoForce, takes three steps back, salutes, performs an about face, and marches from the hall.

On the paperwork is the following information:

"This week the Scum regained and firmly held onto Number 1 ranking despite efforts from the Endless."

"This week, the guild increased in levels by 66 as led by the terrific trio of Ziglabeu, Bakryu and Valind, each with 4 levels. Close on their tails was Morhdd with 3 level raises.

"According to the tips sheets from the arena and the formal Rankings:
Redwood18 climbed 6 ranks to hold onto 47.
MaxPower climbed 19 rankings to settle on 217.
Bakryu climbed an exceptional 31 to 231
Akhdar appears to have mounted a nice round mount to raise 41 rankings to 423.

"In an effort that the gladiatorial authorities wished especially noted, Melange has beaten her HIS best ranking ever after a reported 9 month effort. By raising 19 ranks, Mel now stands at 339."

And that is the way it happened, this last week ending Dec 18, 2011.

 

Scumflash: r34lg33k

This adorable bundle of pink happiness came into the life of r34lg33k and his beautiful wife the other day. Weighing 3.2 kg, she and mom and both healthy and have all their fingers and toes in the right place. We're not saying the same for Dad, if you get my drift.

g33k says that right now, they are thinking she will be named Danielle, but that is still subject to change.

At any rate, congratulations are in order!

Introducing the newest g33k!

Christmas shopping can either be one of the things that you truly love about the season, or it can be a hell you need to get over with as soon as possible.  No worries, folks because I'm here to leave you with a suggestion for those people that are the hardest to buy for.

Yea, you've got at least one of them on your list.  The people-who-have-everything.  

I'm willing to bet they don't have one of these.

My job here is done.  *snicker*

Iola (sitting in for Revliss who is looking after her Mom this week)

Scum don't know NOTHING!

It is true, we are a happily ignorant lot. That must be why we didn't even know how a raven is like a writing desk₁. Actually, our esteemed leader even queried "... what is a writing desk?" Kind of makes a scum proud to have such knowledgeable leadership. We did know one important thing though -- we scum didn't understand the purpose of either₂. Hey, at least if you know your ignorant that's half the battle right?

How is a raven like a writing desk?

Because Poe wrote on both	4 (23%)
Because it slopes with a flap	0 (0%)
Because it can produce a few notes	0 (0%)
Because they both come with inky quills	3 (17%)
Because Scum doesn't understand the purpose of either	10 (58%)

₁You do know it is a joke right? For more enlightening... read this

₂Points to the 4 scum who knew who Poe was. Assuming you didn't think I misspelled poor :)

The Strokes

After my epic fail of last week i have now reverted back to my one true love: notepad.exe... At least it won't let me down, right, Mr Notepad?

Since Wednesday is upon us it is my turn to torture your ears with some music, and after hearing Kamipoo's invention for poor round Quilp I think it's time for some proper lovin' for the old ears.

I know I promised our dear warghlord some time ago, and seeing Xmas is around the corner, I thought I'd give this band a spin. Ladies and gentlemen (as if), I present to you the band you have all been waiting for... *cue drum roll*

The Strokes

Booh, hiss... wait, what? They really are good! It's just, umm. A bit, different? Yes, that's what they are. Different. Odd maybe. Downright silly. But before I get into all that, here's a song to start you off:

Machu Picchu







Voice scaring you? It should! That's the voice of Julian Casablancas. Love it or hate it, I guess. Personally, I can't get enough of it. It's got a teasing quality that draws you in. The band started out in 1999 in New York and has made 4 studio albums, of which Angels (2011) is the latest installment. Rumours of an upcoming 5th album are also flying.

Even though Angels is really good, I have gotten really attached to Is This It, which happens to be their first album. One of the songs of that album is the following

The Modern Age







Funky as shit, right!

And seeing as they are pretty decent as a live band, here's a fun one for ya:

Barely Legal







They have made some decent video clips as well, as you can see in this song:

Under Cover Of Darkness







On second thoughts... damn that is one sucky video clip. Heh. Anyway, to finish things off, a song of their album First Impressions of Planet Earth, also a damn good one if I may say so:

Electricityscape







Cheers
Nargoth


P.S You want more, don't you... Okay. Here's a live version of Life Is Simple In The Moonlight... He sounds a bit, umm, odd...

Soundcheck!

What - is -up - pipples ?

Kami here for another great adventure into the life of a Scum, explaining their deficiencies by blaming the music that influenced them through the years (and even before they were born). And boy oh boy am I excited this week.

As you might or might not know, I write this breath-taking column as I go. For example, as of now, the only thing I know is who I'm covering this week. I have no clue what the songs are going to be, I just throw random stories on paper, flame the video a way or another, and that's pretty much it (hence the Master of Segue title bestowed upon me by Iola). And this week, I'm jumping into completely unknown territory.

Indeed folks. When dinosaurs roamed the Earth and man just discovered fire, another being was dwelling in the largest shadows. His size earned him the King of the Jungle title. T-Rex's would bow to him. He was the inspiration for the wheel, he was a model for hot air balloons, he was used as a demonstration when they proved the Earth was round and he has his own gravity. He laughs more about himself than he laughs about other people. He's an accomplished Scum, everyone loves him; ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, His Roundness, Quilp!

It is your turn Qu-ilp,

You don't smell like tulips,

Try not to nip,

On your own lip,

'Cause it hurts like a 'beep'.

This song was incorporated to fit the Soundcheck of Dec. 20th, 2011.

When most of our scum friends' parents were "doing it like they do on the discovery channel", they usual have some ambient music. Rare are those that used CD's, few are those that used cassettes, many are those that used the radio. But unique is Quilp's parents, who paid a group of guys 2 wild cows (I mean, cows must have been wild at some point, right? I wonder if their black and white hide worked great for them as camouflage in the forest) for them to play the flute using a mammoth's tusk and drums with turtle shells. This is what they played :

Well, she's right. Manana is soon enough for me too. The pleasure of procrastinating at its best. You know the story of the starving man found by a fisherman, right? Don't give a starving man fish, teach him how to fish. Well, Quilp would be more like: "You got fish right there, let's eat. You can teach me how to fish tomorrow." And all is good that way.

His Roundness grew up and soon had to attend school. You know... your grand-ma had to walk 15 miles in snowstorms, so Quilp must have had to walk until the climate changed. That period of time is when his roundness started affecting his personality. When you think round, you think smooth. Quilp became smoother and smoother, and so was the music he listened. He didn't get lazy, he didn't get slow, and he definitely couldn't have a flat personality, so this is what he was listening to (which I fail to categorize) :

Yes, that's how special Quilp the Round is. Him and his vinyl discs that have two songs on each side. Great song, very... trippy. I'm honestly at a loss of words on this one, so let's move on...

Our dear friend kept aging, as all of us do, and was soon 21. He could have gone drinking with all his buddies at the local saloon, but he had his mind on something else. Heck, he'd seen the advent of alcohol on this planet, he could wait a bit more. No, he was in love, guys! He was already so smooth with ladies, what he needed was romance. Less trippin', more lovin'.

He's now smooth, and romantic. He's been rolling his way since, happy and trippy, doing stuff he has to do but not too much on the same day, with romance has a middle name. But if you think this last song made him weaker, well take your best shot at backstabbing him before he stumps you flat with his pinky!

That's it folks, I hope you enjoyed this week's Soundcheck! Stay tuned, as next week we receive Nargipoo on stage! Will the songs that have influenced him be as good as what he's been posting in his column so far? (The debatable word here is "good"). Let's find out next week!

Cheers!